Useless random awesomeness

Despite the refusal of my warring immune system to lay down their weapons, I actually feel semi-productive tonight. This means I'm going to cop out and write some random sh*t that probably no one cares about, but meh.

1. I've never sent a text in my life. And I'm proud of that. No, I'm not going to start. Yes, I'm still in the 21st century. Look ma - I even have an iPhone! Sans texting capability on my plan. Hey, I save 5 bucks a month.

2. I'm losing my hearing. Yes, I'm only 32. I've probably been losing it for a little more than 10 years already. Both ears are going, but the right one is worse. The damage looks permanent. Yep, lots of fun. I don't know how much I'll lose or when (or even if) it will stop. What can I say? I'm living on the edge.

3. I do use said hearing loss to my advantage, when I can. If I'm trying to sleep and the neighbors (or the cats) are making noise, I simply turn onto my left side, which exposes my right (bad) ear. Problem usually solved.

4. If I had it to do over again, I would've gone to acupuncture school first. Then, I could've put myself through doctor school WITHOUT doing massage. And then, I might have done DO school instead of DC. Might have.

5. I'm not Christian, but I get really offended on their behalf when stores won't even acknowledge the population (Christians) who put them in the black (Christmas shopping - the only reason practically every store stays alive). By this I mean the stores who ban the word Christmas and won't let their cashiers wish the customers a Merry Christmas. These are the same stores who saturate the commercial breaks with ads containing the constant jingle of sleighbells and words like "magic" and "holiday season", enticing people to do their Christmas shopping with them...and then won't wish those same customers Merry Christmas. Special place in hell for them, I tell ya.

6. This seasonal/environmental allergy thing? First time EVER. Yeah, I'm 32. My sister had them BAD when we were kids. I never did. She grew out of hers. I grew into mine. Dammit.

7. My mom imitates Cartman from Southpark. Yes, she can really (kinda) talk like him. On purpose, not just incidentally. I'm raspier so I'm usually a bit better at it, especially when I have a cold, but for 57, she's SHARP.

8. I'm an empath, mostly in terms of animals, but increasingly in terms of people too. This sucks more than not. It means that you can never really be truly happy because you're always involuntarily feeling sorry for the suffering out there. Joy.

9. I don't like (most) Californians. I have yet to see more per-capita bitchiness, ditziness, materialism, hypocrisy, arrogance, and self-absorption from any other group of people.

10. My commute really is only 7 minutes long. OK, sometimes it's 8, if I have to wait for the light at Patricia.

11. Our truck is 9 years old and counting. It will be a long time before we will have anything else.

12. I have strange phobias - things like satellite dishes, large rings around the moon, and being up high at night.

13. I've never done any illegal drugs. I don't have anything against those from natural sources (like pot or shrooms) but I also don't have any desire to partake. Nevertheless, I support the legalization of pot in edible form (such as brownie mix) for tightly-controlled, medicinal uses, via prescription from an MD, DO, DC, or ND.

14. I'm sensitive to disturbing movies like "Alive" and "Sixth Sense". I've never seen Star Trek. I actually liked Clan of the Cave Bear. I bawled during "The Green Mile".

15. I hate to have to sleep. Hated taking naps as a kid, too. I was always afraid I would miss something. These days, I just like being awake. Except that I know I have to sleep, for the sake of my body, brain, and sanity. Often, I can't sleep. And at that point, I don't like being awake.

16. I have belched the entire alphabet. In one burp. Don't ask.

17. Until last year, the most recent videogame system I had was the Super NES from 1992. I finally got a Wii. It rules.

18. I'm a map nerd. I will spend more time pouring over maps than my cat Maddie spends preening herself. Bonus points for the advent of Google Satellite.

19. I don't know who the Vice President is. And I don't plan to find out, either. I don't even care. Up until last year I was under the impression the VP was a woman, only to find out he is indeed male. That's all I know. I'm that disinterested in Obama's administration. It's OK. I don't like Fox News either.

20. I LIKE Texas. Sometimes backwards and quirky is OK. If our biggest problem is that we're "slow to change", so much the better. If "change" means more pollution, a higher cost of living, out-of-control real estate prices, the proliferation of bottom-feeding passive-income professions, and increasing race riots, keep them the hell in LA. I'll live in backasswards 1985-land, thank you very much. Things were better then.

21. I was hit by a car at 16. No broken bones, thank Goddess. It wasn't my fault; I had the legit right-of-way. There is a special place in hell for people who roll through stop signs!

22. I was Baptized twice; one was a peaceful, spiritual, non-denominational ceremony in the forest by a godmotherly Reverend. The other was a strict by-the-book Catholic ceremony in the church. Guess which one I cooed during, and which one I cried through? I'm still not Christian.

23. I used to wet the bed on purose, after having been potty trained. I was just too lazy to get up; it wasn't worth the effort.

24. My husband and I eventually want like 5 cats. Funny, as I type this, he's bitching at Maddie to come out from where he can't get her--behind the TV. He's powerless, and smart little shit that she is, she knows it.

25. I've downloaded so many mp3s I could've doubled my mortgage or served hard time.