Ye Olde Land of Enchantment

We're baaaack...

My momma, my husband, and I went to the Renaissance Festival northwest of Houston for the weekend. Now, when we go to a Renfest, we DO Renfest. We dress up from head to toe, complete with weaponry, if it is called for. This is a fairly recent phenomenon; originally, we went and observed the costumes of others. Simple people-watching evolved into the active gathering of ideas, which finally resulted in several (pricey but worth it) purchases, and poof! Several alteregos were born, and this revealed an unexpected deeper layer of fun and participation. You never quite know what it's like and how much more fun it is to participate until you actually DO it. And there has never been a better time to do so; Renfests are becoming increasingly participatory, so you'll fit in more and more if you choose to partake.

If you've never been to a Renfest, GO! There are tons of them around the nation, and while each has its individual perks, if you've seen one you've seen most--although don't let the homogeneity stop you from attending multiple Renfests or traveling to a distant one, because they're all fun.

There are very few drawbacks about Renfests. One is that things are often indeed expensive. Usually this is quite justified, as the vendors selling their wares are owner-operators who handcraft their products, working long and hard at it, and using the best materials they can find. This is not your made-in-China, falls-apart-within-2-washings kind of deal, this is the real and true made right here in the Good Ol' US of A, about as Fair Trade as you can get. It's also truly unique, not usually the kind of merchandise you can pick up at your local mall or flea market. So, the higher price is well-offset by the quality of the products, and the memorable experience of picking it out and sizing it up.

Another drawback about Renfests is not unique to Renfests--it's happening everywhere: the tip jars where, in my opinion, there should not be tip jars. I'll probably rant briefly about this later, because I put myself through several years of college waiting tables and I worked very hard to provide full service, with ample attention and a smile no matter how exhausted or depressed I might've been. Suffice it to say that since you're standing in line to get your own food, which generally comes as is, and you're paying enough already for the food itself, I might actually ignore the tip jar. If you're so inclined, drop a couple of quarters in and call it good.

The only other drawback about Renfests is that the sales pressure put on you can be a little intense. Don't worry, it's not a timeshare seminar or anything, but they can be a little assertive and outgoing, if you catch my drift. They may also try to steer you in to certain price ranges that might be more than you need for what you're trying to accomplish, when they may have something cheaper they're not mentioning in their original pitch. They may also try to get you to impulse-buy, offering you a deal and making it sound like it's just for you if you buy right now, only for that same deal to apply to everyone, being posted on the wall in plain sight. Please know that NOT every vendor does this; in fact, only few do. Many are no-pressure, leave you alone to browse, or simply ask if they can help. Most of them want you to enjoy your experience and be happy with what you get there, so that you'll return to their store. They're more interested in long-term satisfaction. To deal with the pushier, more assertive dealers, simply smile and ask them their name and tell them that you're just browsing right now and that if you have any questions, you'll ask for them specifically.

Onto the fun. Dressing up is the most fun. You can be anything you want to be. Believe it or not, you need not be 100% historically accurate. I saw a Star Wars Storm Trooper and Princess Leia couple yesterday--hardly Renaissance time period, but nobody seemed to care; they proably got even more favorable attention than they bargained for.

Also, believe it or not, you don't have to spend a fortune to assemble a fairly good get-up. Be prepared to shell out a little cash for your principal item, whatever that is. It could be a cape or a shirt and pants or something. Accessories can be less expensive, but do set a budget and stick to it, as they can add up quickly if you're not careful.

Also, you don't have to stick with a Celtic/Scots-Irish theme; you can do ANYTHING from around the world. You'll see Turkish bellydancers, Egyptian pharaohs, armored knights, pirates with real (or fake) parrots, peasants, noblemen and women, Nordic Vikings, Native American Indians, samurai, plaid kilts, witches, hippies, dragons, faeries, elves, dwarves, etc etc.

Here's what I've done so far:

My Basic outfit: a simple, elegant, shiny deep-blue velvet dress with black lace angel-sleeves. It's full-length and zips up the back. It fits well, stretching where it needs to. It can be worn in heat or in cool weather. Bonus: it's machine washable! I also have a very simple black cloak that ties simply at the neck. No sleeves or holes, but easily moveable. Offers an underrated layer of protection against chilly wind. Holds up in all but cold damp weather, which will penetrate several layers anyway.

Warrior-Princess with a Gypsy Flare: This was this weekend's brainchild, sort of on a whim, and I'm dang proud of it. It's as who-loves-kitty as I truly get. I picked up a simple black shirt with what I call elf-sleeves (they hang down in a point, looking very Tinkerbell-ish) and shiny comfy-but-quite-form-fitting black velvet pants, a maroon knit layer that wraps around the top, and a matching maroon coin belt (layered sheets of semi-sheer material, with dozens of faux gold or silver coins threaded onto it) that covers the entire lower abdomen, with a decorative ties that can be tied either in back or off to the side (the latter is recommended). I acquired a simple black ladies belt that I hid under the coin belt. Its sole mission in life is to hold the bitchin'-looking and semi-functional (!) sword. Last but not least, a hot-pinkish (don't worry; it matches the maroon-ish clothing) Gypsy-style scarf with shiny gold threads is tied almost-karate-kid-style in my hair. I was one Bad-Ass Kitty!

Future ideas include:

The Sorceress: a pretty shiny indigo hooded velvet robe/cloak, a necklace with an iridescent crystal ball being clutched by a claw hand, a knobby wooded walking stick with a crystal ball on the end of it, some elaborate glitter face paint in a beautiful design and rich bright colors, and bright flowers around the hair, and perhaps a symbol on the forehead, I haven't decided yet.

The Medicine Woman: earthy tan/brown shirt and full-length skirt, brown suede boots that lace up, a ring of ivy around the crown, and a silver/bronze bowl with dried herbs. Perhaps a necklace that carries a small bottle of aromatherapeutic or medicinal herbal oil.

Shiva: I clearly understand that I am female and that Shiva is a male Indian god. Yep, got it. But that doesn't mean I can't dress like him. In fact, I'm not even sure that would qualify as cross-dressing. A personified deity with 3 matted locks, a crescent moon off to the side of the forehead, a necklace of skulls, a snake around the neck (obviously a fake one should I include this in my own get-up), a third eye midline and above the eyebrows, gold hoop earrings, three horizontal lines of white chalky ash across the forehead, and the zenith--a trident, which is a long, magnificent-looking gold, 3-pronged spear-like weapon. Yeah!

Hippie: the obvious and typical tie-dyed shirt, bell-bottom jeans, scarf around the head, peace sign pendant, braided hemp bracelets, and sandals. A less-interesting and played-out theme, so it's not super-high on my priority list.

Ceremonial Wicca Initiate: basically, a Wiccan ceremonial robe. While this isn't required for a ceremony, and many don't even utilize these, I still think it'd be cool. A pendant of an encircled Pentagram clinches the look.

(Asian) Indian Woman: a real-live salwar kameez or sari, hair in a single long braid, gold hoop earrings, a decorative bindi on the forehead, bangle bracelets, and sandals. My Om pendant is a good finishing touch, as are toe rings and ankle bracelets.


Time for bed...the kitties beckon, and we owe them bigtime. :)

Thanks-For-Giving

Ugh... It's the last day before Thanksgiving. Everyone at school has a temporary short-timer's disease. Half the professors aren't even holding class today. The entire campus will completely shut down at noon. We tried to think of every justification not to come to class today, but we kept having to reluctantly remind each other of all the little (and not so little) things we couldn't just skip out on.

In Bone Pathology we reviewed slides for our next exam, and if it's anything like the review before the last exam, she practically gave it to us and we considered the one-hour time very well spent, so we figured we had to show up today, too. We figured we'd get some more good info and juicy stories in Emergency Care that we all listen intently to with morbid curiosity, but instead we got a 22-minute video of (very real and graphic) childbirth. Not a total waste of time, other than the fact that it was only 22 minutes long and we still have an hour and a half before our next class (the last class of the day) starts. Our next prof'll probably come in and see that there are 12 people here (we're a class of roughly 97 people) and say screw it and talk about sports for a while, cover a few slides, and dismiss us. But then there's the NET appointment at 3pm, and that's the earliest appointment slot, so there's no moving that up any earlier. Oh well. Perhaps I can do one of tonight's massages over lunch and take some of our evening tonight for ourselves.

Thanksgiving is actually NOT sneaking up on us this year. No, I REALLY feel it this time. I haven't historically been a huge turkey fan, and I have never been and will never be a football fan in any sense of the word, but rather I feel the change in the seasons, I feel the fact that we're arriving at a certain point in the annual cycle and it carries with it a certain vibe that I seem to be a little more permeable to this year. I'm really looking forward to spending time with family, to goofing off at the Renaissance Festival in Houston, to having a good dinner and sharing good times, to petting my parents' cats, and to getting out of Dallas for a few days to decompress. While I rant a lot (you ain't seen nothin' yet), I have to admit I DO have a lot to be thankful for. Since I may not have an internet connection out in the sticks, I'll post some of that now. Then when I'm under monthly cycle distress and having a chocolate-craving fit, I have something to reference as evidence that life actually isn't such a nightmare after all.

* My Family. This goes for my new nuclear family created not yet 4 weeks ago with the seal of our marriage, and also for the sometimes-tumultuous-yet-always-loving family I was born into. I don't have sour relations with anyone in my immediate family, and my relationship with my husband (which actually spans nearly 10 years) is strong.

* Opportunities. As much as I rant about school (don't worry; it's coming), I'm thankful that I at least have the opportunity to become a doctor, and I even get to do it without having to put a huge sum of money on the table up front. Yes, I have to pay it all back (contrary to increasingly-popular belief), but at least someone loaned it to me.

* My Health. I do have some issues that I'm working through and some puzzles my body thought it'd be fun for me to spend a few years trying to solve. But overall, I'm pretty healthy. I don't have any of the big stuff. Heart disease, no. Cancer, no. Diabetes, no. Asthma, no. I'm not overweight, I'm not brain-damaged, I'm not paralyzed or quad, and I'm no longer even clinically depressed.

* My State. Despite its flaws and quirks, I really do like Texas, and I'm glad I'm here. I do appreciate it. It has given us so much thus far. It's helping to fund a large part of my husband's tuition due to his disability and his merit. So, I really do sincerely thank the taxpayers for helping him reach his goal. Because of Texas, he gets to do what he previously thought was impossible: become a doctor.

* Our other blessings. Like the fact that we did NOT lose our house when I lost my job. The fact that our cats are happy and healthy. The fact that our male cat lived beyond the 2-year lifespan given by our vet when his health was "mysteriously" (read: Purina crap cat food) failng at 7 months old. (He is now 6 years old and doing great.) The fact that our car accidents (I've been hit 4 times, and NONE were my fault) have not resulted in any perceivable injury.

There are plenty more, but my client called back and took me up on that lunch appointment and I better get a jump on it...

Freeing the Demons

I went for my first NET session today. I don't exactly understand it, but my instinct is telling me that it's the missing link (or at least a really big part of it) to resolving some of my health issues. I don't know much about it, but I do know that it's proven fact that emotional experiences can (and do) elicit physiological responses. Memories of emotional trauma can replay those physiological responses even though you're not presently re-experiencing the trauma. Over time, the protein replication that goes on in all of your cells is altered and it actually changes the way your body functions as a whole. This can influence a lot of different processes, whether it's digestion, sleep, hormone production, or anything else. And apparently, memories of emotional issues can get locked away, unresolved and festering, for a long, long time...

I didn't exactly know what to expect in detail, but I had dutifully watched the loaner intro DVD at home, so I at least had a pretty good idea. It doesn't take long. The doctor (chiropractic) adjusted my spine and then I sat in a comfy chair and held my arm out. He told me to resist while saying different words or phrases and pressing on certain points. Sometimes I could hold my arm up and sometimes I just couldn't. It's not that he pushed harder; it's just that my own resistance was temporarily gone. Some of the results surprised me. He isolated some memories and some blocked up acu-type points, sprayed the inside of my mouth with a mild refreshing homeopathy preparation, and adjusted certain points of my spine with a soft tool that clicked. He said there may be a change in emotions over a period of time, because the body has to process everything that just happened. I knew what he was talking about.

I didn't feel anything different at first. It wasn't until I reached the parking lot that it came. My mouth tightened up as though I was trying to smile widely, laugh, or cry, and it ended up that all three happened at the same time. I didn't freak out; it was the emotional release the doctor mentioned. I've had many of these emotional releases before, and I knew that it was a possible--even probable--aftereffect. Although I was somewhat crying, no tears fell; a dry cry, as I've come to call them. Sometimes just the heaving is enough to release, and at other times, the tears do come. I reached the truck and drove back to school with the radio off so that I could process everything undistracted.

Now, a couple hours later, I have to say that I feel a bit more confident and sociable. A little less intimidated by other people, situations, and life's pressures. Working through these emotions and traumatic events will probably take a little while; some of them have been stored inside for a couple decades. But I think I'm on my way. Today was a really good first step.

For Massage Therapists: Decorating Your Space

When I was first considering enrolling in massage therapy school back in the day, I came in contact with a great lady who answered my swirling cloud of questions, helped me sort my thoughts, and voluntarily shared all the information she had about starting a practice. I asked her how I could ever thank her, and she said, "simply do the same for someone else". That sounded quite logical to me. Unfortunately, due to reasons I may never know, we're no longer friends. I'm sure she's still a great lady and try as I might to review the facts and our last few encounters, I still can't fathom how things fell apart. But that's neither here nor there. The fact is, we had some good times while it lasted over a several-year period, and I felt like fulfilling at least part of that karmic circle here.

After I graduated, I went around and around with myself about which motif to decorate my new massage studio. I wasn't sure which vibe (or combo thereof) I wanted to convey. I had so many options. Native American, with feathers and dream catchers. Hippie, with lava lamps and wood beaded doorway curtains. Japanese Zen, with Tylan Shoji room dividers and bamboo plants. Southwest, with pottery and vibrant blankets. Country, with patchwork, denim, and wood. Typical massage with lavender and pump-driven water trickling over little rocks. Indian, with Ganesh statues and Aum oil dish warmers. Well, I kind of ended up with a rockin' combination of several of the above. Your motif is up to you. However, I thought it'd be helpful to cover good places to get stuff to decorate your studio with.

IKEA. If you have one of these near you, great! Go at 10am on a weekday, and prepare to spend several hours. The place is huge, and the traffic flows only one way. Make sure you have everything you want from your vehicle before going in, because getting back outside once you're a quarter of the way in is a bitch. Once you're in, you'll find a ton of ideas. This place is good for lots of things - basic furniture (organizers, chairs, workbenches, and the like) and accent decorations (fake plants, tealight candles and their holders, and wall art), and best of all, it's pretty cheap. Quality is hit or miss (mostly hit, though--haven't had much bad to say). Only drawback: if you're boycotting China or sweatshops or whatnot, this isn't easy to do here. IKEA's stuff is cheap because it comes from anywhere around the world; chances are, these boycotted places are involved.

Earthbound Trading Company. These are popping up in malls across the land, so finding a location is getting easier. Here you'll find mostly accents, bonus points for the worldly flare, especially African, Turkish, and Oriental. Buddha Statues, candle dish warmers and their scented oils (great variety and great quality, too), French lamps and their oils (good for cleansing the air from emotional or pathogenic gunk), throw pillows and blankets, incense (also good quality and variety) and their holders/burners, Indian elephant statues, Egyptian pyramids, and don't forget the beaded doorway hangings and amazing brilliant-colored themed mirrors. You'll also find some livelier cultural CD collections here, too--specifically the Putumayo CDs.

Ross. This is where you'll find an awesome variety of decent quality sheets - year-round bounty of jersey tee, awesome designs, and designer brands at very cool prices. You'll also find a few scented candles and holders, but come for the sheets.

Garden Ridge. This may be a local or regional chain, I'm not sure. It's basically a discount craft warehouse. If you're lucky enough to have one of these near you, they rock. We found beautiful pottery, a huge variety of good-looking synthetic plants (larger trees and smaller potted plants), statues, little trickling fountains, small desk fans, French lamps and oils, candles and holders, tons of stuff.

Central Market. This is basically where health food store meets conventional grocery store. They have a whole section devoted to aromatherapy oils, candles, incense, and more. This is where I get most of my more common essential oils, because they sell the bigger bottles, and at reasonable prices.

Whole Foods Market. Same as Central Market, only they don't often have the bigger bottles. They have a wider variety of scents, though. Sometimes they carry massage oils, but I order mine elsewhere. Only drawback: getting run over with the shopping carts of yuppie stay-at-home-moms who have nothing serious to do, but the store is still their own personal Indy 500. It's like they think they're starring in the movie "Speed", where they're scared they'll explode if they drop below 50 mph.

Bostonjojoba.com. This is (exclusively) where I get my oil. Due to severe skin allergies to chemicals, the increasing number of people with chemical sensitivities, and the fact that I use a lot of warm/hot stones during therapy and I also do a lot of Lymphatic Detoxification--both of which require oil only--I use jojoba oil. It's practically hypoallergenic, it doesn't smell, and it's the only oil that won't turn sheets rancid. This particular company rocks (I have no vested interest at all in promoting them) because they do everything they can to ensure the quality of their oil (including going organic where possible), they're not too big a company, and their oil comes in a wide variety of sizes--and at awesome prices.

Indian grocery stores. Most major metro areas (and even some smaller metro areas) have at least one, if not several. If you like nag champa incense, this is where to get it. They typically sell their incense in bigger boxes and for lower prices. Only drawback: anything other than nag champa is typically the cheap kind that may not be the best to breathe. It hasn't caused any problems, per se, and it still smells great, so if you're not particularly sensitive and your budget is tighter, this is a great option.

Silver Pyramid. This is a local mom-&-pop store that's here in Dallas only, but it's worth mentioning. If you cater to more of a new age, Reiki, or even Wiccan crowd (or you're that type yourself), look no further; this is the place for you. Dragon and Merlin pewter statues, little colored glass pyramids and iridescent crystal balls, healing stones, incense, incense holders, oils, new age music CDs, and beautiful artwork abound. The store has Indian, Oriental, Buddhist, and Egyptian overtones as well. Only drawbacks: there's only one location that I know of. Also, the prices aren't cheap. However, they're not outrageous, either.

Outlets. Don't overlook or forget about these! Good for carpet remnants to use as rugs, material pieces for curtains, sheets, blankets, or dividers. Only drawback: they're often located in seedier parts of town, so go in the daytime. (They're often only open during the day anyway.)

Amazon.com. This place has been a Godsend. I found jersey tee sheets here (although a limited variety, but some great colors nonetheless). I also found a decent quality professional hot stone warmer and 2 sets of volcanic basalt stones. Their customer service is great, too. Only drawback: again, tough to help out the local ecomony. I lucked out; the people I purchased the stones from were listed through Amazon, but they're a mom-&-pop operation based in Fort Worth :)

Don't bother with: Linens & Things (affectionately known as Sheets & Shit--that's mine! I'm proud of that one :) they're going out of business and they didn't have great selection anyway), Walmart (they were only good for sheets anyway, and when their twin sheet prices doubled overnight I stopped battling the crowds; once I stopped saving money, the effort wasn't worth it), Target (they've gone way downhill in recent years and their products are crap, with no real price break), Bed Bath & Beyond (their selection is nil and their prices kinda suck), Costco, or Sam's (again--quality of product versus the price versus the hassle of the places - applies to both Costco and Sam's). Save yourself the trip and cross these places off your list :)

Pet Peeves (A Rant)

Ever wait for someone? Five minutes go by and you think of something you could plausibly accomplish at the moment, and you decide to do it (it'll only take a minute) and just as you make the first move, the person you were waiting for emerges? This happens to me often enough that I thought maybe I could telepathically reverse-influence my now-over-an-hour-and-fifteen-minutes-late patient to show up by starting to write, but alas, they are not here. And I have no chocolate.

Since I have no chocolate and I am now zero for two so far in the patient category for the day, (although I knew beforehand about the first one--they had the courtesy to tell me; it's today's second patient that has gone MIA), I'm in a ranty sort of mood.

1. No-Shows. While we're on the subject, it seems like a good place to start. Never one to assume (yeah, right), I'll explain that a no-show is someone who schedules an appointment, be it at a medical doctor's office, a dentist, a chiropractic doctor, a spa, an independent massage therapist, a hair stylist, or even a significant other or a group of friends, and then goes AWOL, without any notice at all. They seem to have evaporated, fallen of a cliff, left the planet. They might as well have, because last you heard, they were fine and planning to be there, and now it's way past time and you haven't heard a word.

Now, what I'm ranting about is NOT an extenuating or serious circumstance. Let's face it--if your cat or dog suddenly gets sick or your significant other is in an accident, the last thing on your mind, understandably, is your manicure. HOWEVER--if you're opting out of your engagement to relax at home or at Starbuck's, perfectly fine, thinking "I really don't WANT to go, so I'll just the time approach and peacefully pass", selfishly trying to avoid the "confrontation" of having to make the phone call to break the date, you're scum. (What's really strange is, a surprising proportion of my no-shows are actually appointment-based people themselves, whether they're massage therapists, personal consultants, or counselors.) Really, in this day and age of cell phones and texting, it seems like EVERYONE is talking so often and so intently that they cannot even drive properly. Can't ONE of those phone calls be to the person you're about to leave hanging? Is that really so difficult? Get a backbone. Make the effort. Have some courtesy. Show some respect. Grow up.

The other person (the one you're standing up) may be a friend whom you were going to meet for coffee, who is worried about you. The other person might be your massage therapist, who has designated a full hour and a half of his or her time for you (YOUR 1-hour spot, plus some extra time built around it to change the sheets and make notes for his/her file), having to turn others away who really might have needed his or her healing power that day.

If the other person is anyone with whom you have scheduled time that you would pay for, and you're not there and thus not paying for that time, that person is losing money. You have compromised their income. Why? Because if they knew you weren't coming, then they could've easily offered that spot to someone else who WOULD have paid them. They only have so many hours in a day to schedule appointments. Those appointment slots expire, and once they're gone, they're gone. You have now cost them--dearly. If everyone did that, these hard-working people would never be able to support themselves and their families. Maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal, but these people need to eat too. (And if it's a friend you're pulling this on, you're a crappy friend.) Please do think about that the next time you decide to flake out.

2. Cerebrally-deficient drivers. This topic gets its own entire post. You've been warned.

3. The Verbal One-up. People who use fancy phrases (bonus points if they're lifted or derived from a foreign language) that they don't know how to spell, use, or properly pronounce. Things like "et cetra", AKA "etc". People pronounce it "eck-cetra" and write it as "ect". Other fun phrases include faux pas, du jour, and others. You know what I'm talking about. You hear this and momentarily feel guilty as you laugh at them inside, before realizing that it's their own damn fault for trying to sound more impressive than they are without being able to back it up.

4. New Money ("Nouveau Riche"). These are last year's college seniors who suddenly have a job they're impressed with, a decent salary, and a good credit rating. You know the type; their first house just had to be an overpriced starter castle that maxed out their limit such that they can't afford to furnish it completely (with interest-only payments for the first 3 months, but we don't tell anyone about that) in a heavily-zoned, ordinance-happy suburb. The ones with matching shiny His 'n' Hers SUVs (of course, either brand-spankin'-new or worse--leased). Yep, the same pretentious little angels who think they now have a license to treat those around them like dirt because they are now Someone Important. Comically enough, they retain customs from their trashier days--they can't tip their waiter well and they are picky-picky-picky about what they want and when they want it.

5. Lack of proper parenting. Last time I checked, it's not my job to raise someone else's kids. I shouldn't have had to play disciplinarian in the restaurant I used to wait tables at, and I sure as hell hope I don't actually have to lecture any future patients for letting their kids run wild around our office. Much of the upcoming generation are a bunch of hoodlums. It's not their fault. In fact, I feel sorry for them. They're products of their parents, who insist that "it's all about me" and insist on accumulating possessions and believe their kids can do no wrong, no matter how badly they behave.

Parenting is a full-time job. Yes, it's hard work, but it's exactly what you signed up for when you decided to go off The Pill. It's not simply the next logical step that comes after getting married and buying a house. It's not something to do because "it's time". It's also not something to do to save a shaky marriage, trust me. It's a whole new commitment. Kids are not little ego-boosters you keep around like pets just to have someone to love you and call you "mommy". They're not little continuations of your own childhood through which you can live vicariously. And the rest of the world sure as hell isn't responsible for them. You, on the other hand, are.

Take Your Life Back!

Top 10 ways to de-stress and become yourself again...

1. Mute the commercials. Ever notice how commercials can often be annoying or irritating? Ever notice how noisy and intrusive they are? You're not just imagining things. Whether it's radio or TV, advertising by definition is designed to get your attention. Whether we realize it or not, the average person is bombarded with 3,300 commercials DAILY. And whether we consciously realize their presence or not, our brains have to process them. This may not sound like a big deal, but it adds up to a lot of mental clutter over time. The mute button is one of the most empowering tools ever devised. Bask in the silence. Turn to your loved one for some good conversation or a long hug instead.

2. Drive slow. My post on this is coming soon.

3. Keep an eye on what you're watching and listening to. Certain movies or music can produce different brain waves that can put you into an altered mental state, one of aggression. For most people it's subtle, but over time, we've seen the results of violent action-packed movies and music to match. Society has gotten crappy. Really. People tailgate each other, think nothing of flipping each other off, etc. People think nothing of making excessive noise or doing what they please. By and large, we're not pissing on lamp posts yet, but give us time...

Cultivate evolved tastes of the upper eschelon, such as acoustic guitar music, mellow adult contemporary, sultry modern lounge music, or some dreamlike ambient dub with some traditional ethnic/world music flare.

4. Eliminate clutter in your home and workspace. This goes back to the fact that your brain must process everything it sees, whether it wants to or not. And again, this may not be noticeable unless your house resembles Jeff Foxworthy's having "mowed the lawn and found the car". The effects really add up if it stays that way for a while. Life is much more calm if your surroundings are simple. I'm not advising you to live like a monk, although that wouldn't be a bad idea. But if there is stuff strewn all over the place, I know I can't exactly think straight. I feel much better when it's been straightened up.

5. Along the same lines, consider the decor of your home. Are the colors on the wall too brash and bold? Red tends to increase blood pressure. And it makes you eat more. Are they too dark? This can lead to subconscious depression. Is the wallpaper pattern too chaotic? This can increase stress. What about the lighting? Are your light bulbs the new bitey "going green" kind that will eventually drive you insane, or are they the nice incandescent power-gulping but sanity-saving kind that you can actually see by? Floor plan - too open? Too closed? Cosy sounded cute in the ad when you were shopping for your home, but do you find your shoulder thunking against the wall as you try to round a corner or enter through a doorway? Good earthy colors and incandescent lighting is boring to some, but soothing. You can always spice things up by adding your own accents such as throw pillows, blankets, wall art, or table coasters.

6. Do what you love. If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. I heard somewhere that 85% of the population hates their jobs. There is really no excuse for that. Yes, really. Life is simply too short to spend 1/3 of it doing something you don't particularly like. There is such a variety of different occupations out there - go find one that suits you! Don't worry about the money. Really. If you like what you do, the money will find you. If not, just marry a spouse with a stable job! Just make sure s/he likes his/her job, too. :)

7. Get regular massage therapy and chiropractic adjustments. People know they float out of the massage therapist's studio, but did you know that you also float out of the chiropractor's office after an adjustment? This is because both (especially the chiropractic) stimulate neurological pathways that actually relax you. For real. Massage therapists see 25% of the population. Chiropractors see less than 10% of the population. Considering the stress level of the world and especially this society, shouldn't these numbers be higher?

8. Get enough exercise. It doesn't have to be "hi, I'm a yuppie in a cute suit who does yoga to sound impressive around the watercooler", nor does it have to be "burn 10,000 calories a second or die! Towanda!" But even moderate physical activity stimulates neurological pathways (yes, those again) that feed your centers of higher mental function, and inhibit animal tendancies that manifest as runaway temper, intolerance of other people and self-centeredness.

9. Avoid sugar, caffeine, and MSG. Yes, this takes some of the fun out of eating--until you consider what you've been missing! The truth is, natural foods DO taste better. Various chemicals added to our foods modify the neurological impulses in our brain and re-wire them to crave the substances. Essentially, these are addictive substances. They're unregulated and they carry no warnings, so everyone thinks they're safe. But the truth is, they're not. Sugar produces an adrenal surge, leading to anxiety and the perception of stress on a body-mind level, throughout your whole system. Caffeine does the same thing. MSG excites your nerve cells literally to death, and over time people develop decreased mental function and autoimmune disorders, where the body literally attacks itself.

10. Take time for yourself. This means learning to say "no". Our plates can only be so full. At some point, you must draw the line and say "enough". People may want you to do this or that, and if you can, great. But if not, don't stress yourself worrying about it or trying to pack it in to your already-busy schedule. Take time to breathe. To do what you want to do. To do nothing at all. To have a day at the spa or the mall. To go for a walk and listen to the birds. To spend with your loved ones. To bask in the silence. :)

Massage 101

Since I am a massage therapist (hear me roar...) and there are a lot of misconceptions surrounding this profession, I thought it'd be good to write a post (or several, depending on how many different directions this goes in) about what it is I do for a living.

What massage seems like on the outside: rich, celebrity, or fad-following clients pay extravagant amounts of money to get rubbed on for an hour.

What massage therapy actually is: an umbrella term that includes a plethora of different types of bodywork, typically done by the practitioner's hands. Not only does it feel great, but it is extremely therapeutic; sometimes, we can help prevent certain surgeries--for example, a retinacular release typically done to ease symptoms of carpal tunnel (numbness, tingling, and weakness in the hands/fingers).

Modalities
There are a gajillion different types (referred to as modalities) of massage therapy, at least several hundred. Some of the main types (referred to as "modalities") include:

Swedish Massage: utilizes long, flowing strokes (always toward the heart!) using light to firm pressure in order to provide varying amounts of stress relief. A basic full body massage requires at least an hour, if there are NO particular tight spots to address. An hour and a half is really the ticket, though.

Deep Tissue: means different things to different clients, and there is even debate among veteran practitioners as to exactly what Deep Tissue is. Clients typically request deeper massage for two reasons: either they have a high pain tolerance and they think it has to hurt in order to help, or their last Swedish massage just didn't cut it for them and they want the same relaxing full body massage they got before, just with deeper pressure this time. Deep Tissue can be good for working out knots or especially stubborn tight/trouble spots, such as a crick in the neck after sleeping wrong.

NMT (Neuromuscular Therapy): utilizes full body alignment assessment to figure out which muscle groups are actually causing the tightness/pain (hint: the source of the problem may NOT be the site of the symptoms! That pain between the shoulder blades may actually be caused by tight muscles in the upper chest) and apply specific targeted protocols to address the true source of the problem in order to restore biomechanical balance. NMT is also known as clinical massage, medical massage, or orthopedic massage.

Hot Stone Massage: resembles many other types of massage except that the therapist uses warm stones in some form or fashion to release the tightness in the top layer of tissues first. This allows the therapist to access the deeper muscle layers sooner. Can be used as part of a new dimension in relaxation massage, or to assist with more clinical work for pain management and structural balance.

Lymphatic Drainage/Detoxification: utilizes slow global strokes of very light pressure for the purpose of assisting the drainage/emptying/clearing of congestion of lymphatic fluid out of the tiny lymphatic channels just under the skin. Very popular among people who suffer from edema and lymphedema, for faster recovery from surgery and pregnancy, and those who wish to optimize their health through detoxification. Also very beneficial for eczema - eases the itching and improves the appearance of the rash.

Sports Massage: utilizes various kneading, friction, stretching, and static/multidirectional point pressure in order to aid in recovery from various motion injuries, such as muscle strain. May also be used in combination with ice, heat, active therapies, or electric modalities like TENS or Ultrasound. Also good for rehabing or strengthening muscles.

Prenatal Massage: resembles mostly a Swedish massage, with elements of NMT and deep tissue techniques for working out the tight spots that accumulate in the ever-changing body of the mom-to-be. Typically done completely lying on the mother's side for the safety of both mother and baby to minimize pressure on both. Prenatal massage avoids deep pressure, to avoid releasing any clots formed due to altered circulation during pregnancy. Focuses a lot on neck, shoulders, glutes (buttocks), hips, knees, and feet. Avoids the wrist and ankles due to reflexology points that could contribute to the stimulation of premature contractions.

Reflexology: performed by massage therapists but is not exactly massage, per se. Utilizes pressure on different points on the bottoms of the feet and sometimes the palms of the hands that are said to be linked toward other body regions or organs in order to improve/restore normal function. Allows benefits to trickle to other parts of body without that particular part being touched--for example, press around the toe joints to help with inflamed rheumatic finger joints that shouldn't be worked. Thus, is great for reducing pain and symptoms of inflammatory conditions like rheumatoid arthritis.

Chair Massage: performed with the client sitting fully clothed in a special padded massage chair, typically in the workplace or a public event. Can address nearly all the areas of the body low back, wrists, forearms, hands, calves and feet, but is especially used to focus on the neck, shoulders, and upper back. Typically uses little to no oil, as the sessions are brief and the client is clothed. Sessions typically last 10 minutes or so.

Trigger Point Therapy: a subset of clinical/medical massage that specifically addresses a special type of knot in muscle or connective tissue that refers pain to another area (either by itself all the time or only when pressed on). Proposed to be the root cause of about 70% of all pain, trigger points are overlooked by the medical establishment because there is little knowledge of them, and little diagnostic testing for them. Very good for pain management. Can be included in a long unclothed massage or a short chair massage, or stand alone as an isolated session. The length varies, depending on how fast a trigger point releases.

Myofascial Release: also a subcategory of clinical/medical massage, but can also stand on its own. Two main types exist: 1) gentle sustained stretching using no lubricant, and 2) fast, hard scraping motion against the skin using blunt tools and lubricant. Each achieves good results, but people generally respond better to type 1. Releases restrictions in connective tissue, thus unbinding the muscles and organs underneath, and helping to reduce pain and stiffness.

The above is NOT an exhaustive list!

Misconceptions (let's talk about what Massage Therapy ISN'T):
Myth #1: Massage is a frivolous luxury just for the elite.
Fact: Massage is for everyone. I've had people from all walks of life in my studio, from age 6 to age 91. I've had the big Harley Davidson aficionado, the pro hockey player, the retiree, the cancer survivor, the paraplegic, the young kid ejected from a nasty head-on collision who spent his next 13 days unconscious and has severe dystonia, the ADD child, the stay-at-home mom, the stressed out sales executive, the pilot, the non-English speaking lawn care worker, the police dispatcher, and just about everyone else. Massage therapy is healthcare. It's especially good for aches and pains, stress, lymphatic congestion, and various muscle compression issues like carpal tunnel and thoracic outlet problems.

Myth #2: Massage is too expensive.
Fact: Massage can be a little pricey, depending on where you live, but let's take a look at that. Depending on where you go and what technique you request, massage can be as little as $30 to as much as $90 per hour. However, it's usually a lot cheaper than a doctor's visit, and instead of walking out with a slip of paper in hand that gives you permission to obtain drugs with side effects and the capability to destroy your liver and kidneys, instead you might actually start to inch closer to addressing the CAUSE of your problem. Bonus: little to no negative side effects, and lots of potential positive ones! So even though insurance does not usually contribute toward the cost, it's an investment in the one thing you can't replace: YOURSELF.

Myth #3: No pain, no gain.
Fact: Even though this mentality is how deep tissue practitioners were taught back in the day, we have come to realize that this is actually not true. Some of the most profound results actually come from some of the lightest pressure techniques. On the other hand, too much pressure can actually cause trauma to tissues (like muscle, nerve, and connective tissue). How do you know when it's too much pressure? Well, it's different for everyone. Different people can tolerate different amounts of pressure. You know it's too much if you start to notice things like having to grit your teeth, tighten up to resist the therapist's pressure, wiggle your toes, or hold your breath to bear it. Or if you start having thoughts like wondering when this'll be over or trying to convince yourself you can "take it". Being sore for 1-2 days after a good deep massage is normal; any more than that usually is not. If you're not the easily-bruised type, ask your therapist to lighten the pressure.

Myth #4: Massage is just a cover for "other" services offered in a Red Light district.
Fact: AU CONTRAIRE! Although many "ladies" use "massage" as a decoy or cover or code word for what it is they're actually offering, this is NOT what massage therapy is all about. Some of them gotten good at marketing their craft; sometimes it's tough to tell the legit from the non-legit. Some ads that carry a hint of sleaze are legit therapists who simply don't know how to market themselves or design an ad. But what's even more confusing is the fact that a few licensed practitioners actually offer "other" services, either as the mainstay of their practice or on the side upon request. All this does is give the rest of us a bad name. If this applies to you, you're scum! The vast majority of therapists, however, have integrity and self-worth and stick within the therapeutic scope of their practice.

Myth #5: Massage therapists do chiropractic adjustment/manipulation.
Fact: NOT. If they do, they need to be reported. Massage therapy is the manipulation and therapy applied to soft tissue only, not bones or joints. Massage can be done near or at the location of a joint, but it is directed towards the muscle tendons that attach near that site. Massage therapists lack the proper training to do a chiropractic adjustment, and while chiropractic is overwhelmingly safe, adjustments performed by untrained practitioners are dangerous and can result in a major injury. For a great and safe adjustment, go to a licensed chiropractor!

Well, that about does it for now. More massage stuff to follow!

Bio...sort of

OK, about me in 100 words or less:

I grew up split between 2 diametrically opposed lives:
1.) a normal kid, living in a quiet mid-American suburb, attending regular school, and
2.) an honest-to-God, run-away-and-join-the-circus carnie.

Yep, that's right. I traveled throughout Canada, so although I was born and raised mostly in the good ol' US of A, I was just shy of 19 before I got to see my first 4th of July fireworks. But I wouldn't trade my alterlife for anything. I got to live ON the fairgrounds. Yes, after the crowds cleared out and all that was left were styrofoam plates, plastic cups, and the occasional penny strewn across the land, the sky was nearly light and we were just mere hours away from having to get up and do it all over again--achy joints, exhaustion, adrenalin, and all. The residual head-pounding from the 5 subwoofers of music heard at any given time never really clears, and neither does the smell of heated vegetable oil lining the nasal passages. The hip and low back stiffness was simply a way of life.

But despite all that, it gets in your blood. It becomes addicting. You somehow just KNOW, that when the days reach a certain length and the air reaches a certain temperature and the zodiac cycle takes on a certain magnetism, that the time is coming. I can't really explain it. It's been years since I last traveled, but sometimes I feel little pangs here and there, just enough to remind me that the instinct never really goes away.

Let's see, what else?

I'm a Virgo. It actually took me a long time to come to appreciate that. For whatever reason, for the longest time, I did everything I could to deny it. The Virgo sign just wasn't happenin' enough for me. It wasn't fascinating enough, not sassy enough. It wasn't the center of attention like I used to crave to be. It was hard to be a Virgo because the sign's influence seemed to want to banish me to a corner, where I could be a quiet shy little wallflower--a meek, selfless, and chronic pleaser. Ugh. Back then, I felt that the sign Leo fit me MUCH more. Being the self-admitted flamboyant, artistic, social, strong-willed, overdramatic primadonna teenager that I was, I fit that bill better than anything. And then I grew up--somewhat. At least enough to have come to realize that Virgo's strength is just that--STRENGTH. I was hooked on my sign the minute I read the descriptive phrase, "...spine of stainless steel". I thought that sounded pretty cool. And strength will be forever cooler than any amount of drama.

I'm also an 8, numerologically. This somewhat bummed me out, because I was caught between the 2 numbers I was secretly shooting for--7 and 9. I liked 7 because it seemed lucky and outgoing. I liked 9 because it's a cosmic number, indicating spiritual advancement. Ha! I must be a bit of both, but not enough to call myself either one. I've come to grips with 8, because it's powerful and psychic. Maybe I'll actually get lucky financially--for once. Which brings me to my next point...

I'm a massage therapist, licensed by the Great State of Texas. I have been for 4 years. I decided to become a chiropractor first, but when we visited our school as drooling prospective students in early 2003, we filled out our applications, turned in our transcripts and since we had waaaay more undergrad classes to take, they said, "great! It's nice to meet you; we look forward to having you. See you in 2007." Needless to say, I was bored and burned out from my several years too many as a cocktail waitress, and I wanted to start helping people out as a bodyworker NOW. So, I gravitated toward the Next Best Thing: massage therapy.

Massage Therapy IS all it's cracked up to be. I really like it. I have a select handful of clients, and I've gotten close to them. It's relaxing to just be able to duck into the studio and interact with another person, someone you don't see every day, for an hour or more, and apply manual therapy, knowing that what you're doing is helping them, knowing that when they get off the table, they'll practically be a new person--much different than they were when they came in.

Increasingly, though, as I progress through the twists and turns of training in chiropractic medicine, I experience a slight dissonance between all the neat new cool stuff I'm learning each day and what I'm expected to be and provide as an LMT. While it's refreshing, it can be limiting. It's nice to be able to spend more time with each massage client, though. Sometimes I feel I don't get enough time with my patients as a chiropractic intern. So, each has its pros and cons. I'm flailing my arms somewhere in the middle, trying to keep my head above water as I juggle it all--the studying, the 2 sets of appointments in 2 different locations, and everything else. I'll definitely get through it; we have a little over a year left, and I have the feeling it's going to fly. It's just a matter of wearing all the hats, and still looking good.

I think that was, like, 11 words... :)

hello kitty... (virgin post)

OK, so here I am in the student clinic at school, knowing I really should be studying, but waiting for my husband of 11 days to finish with his patient, and trying to break my chocolate addiction minute-by-minute. I think I'll take one of those minutes and explain the title, in case it needs an explanation. It's not as interesting as it sounds. Really. It all boils down to the fact that I love cats. And the fact that I am sooo not the dominatrix type, although I probably was in a recent lifetime, because my whole attitude towards risque kinkiness is, "been there, done that" even though I haven't--so it's sort of an oxymoron. It was also a diagnosis of exclusion; I couldn't find any other title that would fit so globally with all of the multiple facets of my life. So here it is. I promise the next post will be more exciting. :)