It ain't easy being clean, either

Ha. And you thought I meant drugs. You wish. On the other hand... No, I'm too much of a nerd. Besides I stay up wired all by myself, without any help, thank you very much. And you're about to witness more ramblings that are the said product of such insomniac states.

So ever since we moved to our apartment and our available living space has pretty much been halved, keeping things tidy has come into sharper focus. Well, actually that happened during the course of our packing at the house; as we packed and then cleaned, we once again saw the reality of what should have been during our years there, and realized that we sort of neglected things. I have the remedy...or at least a rough draft of it.

January: Christmas Cleanup
This is a great time for those New Year's resolutions. It's also time to take down the decorations, use that spent real tree for firewood, use the spent wrapping paper for kindling, and add to the giveaway pile, whether it's Christmas gifts you simply can't use (maybe someone else can!) or something that is being replaced by a Christmas gift. Eat those leftovers and give the house a good thorough cleaning now that the houseguests have gone.

February: Thinning Out
Combing your closets, cupboards, and drawers and deciding what you no longer need or use can make that eventual spring cleaning project easier, because after you've identified your giveaway pile and brought it to the local charities or sold it through Craigslist, Ebay, or Amazon, you'll have less to have to wade through and clean. This is probably one of the single most potently therapeutic and rewarding tasks you'll do for yourself all year. You get a lot of bang-for-your-buck mileage out of this one. It's not real nice outside yet, so put off the yard work until next month, and you could also put off the actual spring cleaning part until the month after that, when the weather is consistently warmer and you can open up the house as you clean. This is a rockin' time to have a garage sale! Beat the usual springtime garage sale rush and stand out by holding yours early.

March: Spring Yard Work
Those Texas weeds are starting to grow, so start weeding early. Please don't use chemicals - they're quite harsh and toxic and your neighbors may be sensitive to them. The environment is shared, and spraying a shit-ton of chemicals on your lawn is as disrespectful as smoking inside a building. Instead, if you cultivate a healthy yard, your grass will edge out the weeds anyway. You may want to plant your Bermuda seed at this time, aerate, and spread microbes and nitrogen. You'll also want to do a good, deep edging job right now, and trim your trees before they take off in another growth spurt. And don't forget to replace any broken/missing sprinkler heads.

April: Spring Cleaning, Allergy Prevention
No sooner does April begin than everyone starts sneezing. There's only so much of that you can control, but you can improve your odds by changing out all of your air filters. You'll also want to tune up your A/C and air ducts and vents now, before the heat hits, along with the service calls and long waits that come with A/C failures during the first upcoming hot days that loom not far into the future. You'll also want to dust now, a thorough job that involved that little quarter-inch ledge on the top of a door frame, or the margin of your ceiling/floor fan blades or light bulbs in said ceiling, you get the point. Do dust everything.

May: School's Out
During the next few months of summer, when the kids are home and everyone's outside more because the weather's nice, your house is going to get a lot worse before it gets better. I've found that cleaning the high-traffic areas (beyond simple maintenance) is pretty much a futile effort. Instead, this time of year is perfect for turning your attention to areas and tasks that aren't usually in the forefront. Like window cleaning, for example. Most people use Windex, but I actually learned a tip from my dad (Mr. Home Improvement, complete with the plaid shirt and a serious arsenal of power tools)--he prefers Rain-X instead of Windex for glass cleaning. He says it saves on paper towels or something. I can't verify that part, but I do know that when I used Rain-X, cleaning all the windows in our house (which had a TON of windows) took me a lot less time than I remember it taking. You might also feel like washing any cloth window dressings at this time. Or attaching those clear protective coverings to the corners of your walls (the ones that jut out--you know, the ones we run into), especially in high traffic areas. They help preserve the integrity of the wall and prevent hard-to-repair nicking or other damage, especially with a more active season fast approaching.

June & July: Design on a Dime
This is a fun time for remodeling, redecorating, changing color schemes, etc, because you have the longest daylight hours to work with, and the sun is giving its most direct light, allowing you to see the full potential and full effect of your design plans. Try not to let the summery season tip you overboard, though; remember to pick something you won't get sick of too quickly, unless of course you want to make this a yearly custom. IKEA is an awesome place to shop, because they have a nice variety, their prices are decent, and while the quality is sometimes hit-and-miss, there are good-quality items to be had. Bonus: their model setups provide a cool springboard for ideas, combinations, and color schemes you might not have otherwise considered. HGTV is another great source of ideas, too (hence the title of this subsection...gosh that was a bureaucratic moment! Where'd that come from?) although HGTV can get a little trendy (and expensive), and one can tire of trends easily as they become dated. Depending on where you live, Craigslist can be a valueable resource! Make sure to Google "Craigslist scams" for a heads-up on red flags, scams, situations to avoid, and precautions to take. Craigslist arrangements almost always work out very well, eliminating a retailing middleman, but there have been reports of physical assaults, robberies, and scams, although they're not as common as they could be. Just be smart and protect yourself.

August: Loose (Odds &) Ends
I don't know about you, but I can't think of anything good to do because Texas in August simply calls for a lawn chair and some frozen fruit smoothies--under an umbrella. It's too hot to do much else. :) Unless of course you want to dust again. Actually, this might be a good time to start a spreadsheet on all of your major electronics, their serial and model numbers, and customer service phone numbers in case there's ever a problem. If your personal file system is out of whack, you may want to spend time putting it into order. Reconcile bank statements, examine bills, re-shop for your insurance policies to make sure you're still getting the most bang for your buck, re-shop your banking institutions and your credit card issuers to make sure your terms are the most favorable possible, call your phone/internet/cable/satellite companies to see if they have a lower rate plan out there, test the keys on your key ring, reacquaint yourself with your safety deposit box, update your resume, anything that you can do from inside that might have been neglected the rest of the year. This way, you head into the new school year (or job season, as September is the most common time of year to start a new job), you have all of your personal affairs in order.

September: Summer Cleanup
At this point, you'll want to recover from summer. Dirt and pollens tracked in, kids in and out with friends, you get the idea. This is a great time to deep clean the carpets and touch up any scuffs on the walls with the matching paint. You'll also want to vaccum the window sills and the carpet closest to the walls (silverfish and other dead bugs).

October: Fall Yard work
By now the acorns have started to fall (if you're anal like me you comb through the grass to pick these up and prevent them from sprouting) and the bushes and trees you pruned so well this spring have spent several months in a growth spurt. Not to mention that the leaves are probably starting to fall. So, now is a good time to rake those leaves and trim everything back again. If you live in an area where grass grows out instead of up, you may also have creepy-crawly grass strands sneaking their way across your driveway. You may also have plenty of debris and toys from summer outdoor parties or kids playing games in your yard.

November: Presentable & Airtight
Just before company starts raining down on your space, you'll want to spruce the place up a bit. Dusting lightbulbs (chandeliers, overheads, ceiling fan light bulbs, etc) is a good idea. If you have any natural wood (I hope you do, for sanity's sake), a little Old English will work wonders to restore the warmth of its natural color, while covering any nicks and scratches. Wear special clothes and use a drop cloth for this - it will stain! You'll want to weather seal your windows and doors.

December: Holiday Cheer
Yep, it's decorating time, if you haven't done so already (although I will say, please, in the spirit of preventing a phenomenon called Christmas Creep, preserve the seasons and their accompanying magic by holding off on the Christmas paraphernalia until at least the day after Thanksgiving...and that's the *US* Thanksgiving, not the Canadian Thanksgiving, which takes place about 6 weeks earlier). Anyway, I digress. Decorating rules, no matter what religion you follow, or none at all. So even if you don't celebrate Christmas, it's still fun to put up some natural-looking garland or lights. The candles alone cast a warmer light over the milky glow from the outside overcast sky and provide some extra light for those shortened daylight hours. Simmer some mulling spices over the stove. Make sure they're the natural edible kind, not anything synthetic. As for cleaning? Screw it - here's your get-out-of-jail-free card; you're either going to be gone (in which case you won't be making a mess, nor will you be there to clean any already-existing messes) or you're going to be there with other people, in which case you'll be enjoying good times with them and not cleaning!

7 Defective habits of highly-annoying websites

During a time when most companies are trying to drive people to their websites, it seems that some are doing everything in their power to drive people away. We searched. We found. We clicked on through. And all the thanks we get is to be bombarded, hijacked, and advertised to obnoxiously. A high percentage (I don't have hard numbers...come on, I work in medicine, not math.. but it's enough to make me want to write about it!) of website I've visited, especially lately (i.e. within the past 6 months) are starting to grow horns and Medusa-style wigs. 7 Deadly Sins of Website Design await. Behold...

1.) Pop-ups. These are soooo 1997. They were annoying then, and they're annoying now. They crash our browsers. They hijack our attention. They do nothing for us. You're not likely to make fans by using them. There's a reason that pop-up blocker software is such a huge market. Pop-under windows don't count as a viable solution, nor are they a workable compromise. All they'll do is guarantee I'll never visit your site again...or at least, I'll upgrade that pop-up blocker.

2.) Website music that automatically starts playing. This will show how dated you are, too. Music on a website might've been cool for about 3 days back in 1997, but it's not now. I don't like something that will assault my senses to automatically load without so much as a warning. I might forget that my computer speaker volume is set high enough from last night's Random Radio Party of One (i.e. me blasting tunes in my office by myself), and the 8-bit Nintendo music that loads from your website the minute I visit is likely to serve as an unwelcome reminder. Only *I* may blow out my eardrums--not you.

3.) Hijacking my "back" button. Here's the deal. If I wanted to stay on your site, I would not hit my back button to return to my search results (or my otherwise previously-visited page). If I hit my "back" button, it's not a mistake. My finger didn't just "slip". If I hit my "back" button, it's because I actually--gasp!--want to *leave* your site. Hijacking said button will not win you any brownie points. I will not say, "well, I was going to leave, but since all I've done is reload the page, lemme take a closer look, and maybe I'll decide to hang out longer." Really, I won't. That scenario is a fictitious wet dream going on in your deranged little sleazy head, and it has probably never even happened in the history of the interwebz. So get over yourself, and let me GO already.

4.) Site maps. OK, the #1 clue that should sound warning bells in your head that you have a poorly-designed, hard-to-navigate website is the fact that you think you need a "site map". Honestly. Why? First of all, site maps often only compound the problem. Second, if people are having to go to your site map to find the information they need, you've got a crap website. Sorry, but it's true. Take it back to the drawing board for a complete overhaul and emerge anew--without the site map.

5.) Blinking, flashing, obnoxious banner ads. Seriously, folks. Simply surfing the internet should not be hazardous to epileptics, nor should it induce an epileptic condition in non-epileptics. However, it seems as though some of you want it that way. If I'm not clicking on your banner ad (and really--who does anymore, except by accident?) then it means you gambled on my demographic and lost. Don't be a sore loser and brainstorm for the most obnoxious, circus-like ad you can conjure up. Simply advertise a product people actually want. Bonus Hint: 86 the scams and MLMs. With a blinking ad such as yours, I'm likely to actually cover that part of the screen with a piece of paper so I can finish reading the dad-gummed article already. Better yet? I'll copy-paste what I came to your site to read into a Word document or something comparable, so that I can finish reading it in peace, without any ads at all.

6.) Boosting your search results by including key words in a clusterfuck at the bottom of your page, while having nothing useful or relevant to say on said page itself. Seriously, WTF? It took you more time and effort just to create the useless page, put all that crap at the bottom of it, and pay someone to SEO your site than it would have to simply write a decent site with decent info and let nature take its course. What, do you think I'm not going to see that there's no reason to stay?

7.) Making me sign up to view content, even if doing so is free. It's like a telemarketing call during dinner--it's an unnecessary invasion of privacy. If you're not going to charge me anything, why make me sign up? So you can collect my information and then bury the sale thereof in some legalese-infested so-called "Privacy" Policy? Sheesh. The idea of the world wide web was to share information, not hide behind walls. If you don't want to share info, that's fine; don't bother making a website.

Everybody loves a good epiphany

Maybe it's the food coloring in the M&M's I'm scarfing, or the alteration of my brain waves by the cold milky fluorescent light over the nightstand in our hotel room, but I'm feeling...astrological tonight. I know that not everybody shares this belief, but, well, tough. Hey, you surfed on over here, remember? Thank you, by the way. You do have an open invite into my little corner of the world, and I appreciate that you accepted it.

Among us head-in-the-clouds astrologers, there is a widely-known concept known as "retrograde". Used in a sentence? "Mercury is retrograde for the rest of this month." (Which, incidentally, is true. Retrograde is when a planet appears (from our little corner of the universe on earth) to go backwards in its path. Keep in mind that in the grand heliocentric scheme of things, all planets are always moving forward. But there was a time when people were crisped at the stake for daring to utter such a thought, and so a geocentric (earth-centered) model of the universe prevailed until common sense set in. From our particular point of view, standing on the earth's surface, planets go forward until they--oops!--decide to retreat, for a limited time only. Practically every planet (besides the Sun and Moon--yes, they're considered planets, as is Pluto--don't argue) spends at least a portion of its journey in retrograde motion, and these retro periods vary from planet to planet, but not from time to time when considering a particular planet. Make sense? No? OK, well, the length of time Mercury spends moving backwards is shorter than that of Venus. But Mercury consistently spends about 3.5 weeks retrograde at a time. Better? Cool.

I'm giving the spotlight to Mercury in my examples because that's what's going on in real life (yes, astrological principles are actually considered by many, including myself, to be part of real life--again, don't argue). Mercury is known as the planet of communication. As such, it also exerts its influence over certain jeopardy categories as technology, the media, electronics, verbal communication, reading and verbal comprehension, and conscious thought.

So when Mercury decides to go backwards, all of the outward energies it normally displays reverse and turn inward. People become more shy. Communication gets disrupted. Technology goes on the fritz. People misspeak or misunderstand each other. Comedies like "Who's On First" or "My Cousin Vinny" illustrate a renegade--I mean retrograde--Mercury *perfectly*.

In fact, Mercury in one of these retrograde funks when I was born. (Does that answer any questions? Figured so.) Astrologers also carry this not-so-strange (IMO) notion that whatever was happening with the stars at the time of a person's birth basically stamps said person proverbially on the forehead, effectively marking them for life with the corresponding personality traits and tendencies. Cool, huh?

What does that mean? Well, in short, it means I'm weird. But so are a great deal of you. People born under this interesting little phenomenon can be awkward verbally (often due to shyness), but great musicians or even writers. It doesn't mean you can't work a computer. It does mean that what you say might get misinterpreted, or that you might misinterpret others. It also means you probably have a thin skin. I know I do. I just hide it well.

The interesting thing is, when Mercury itself goes retrograde (i.e. from its current position, not where it was when I was born), my own brain lights up. It's like I'm finally in my element. Kind of. What throws a wet blanket on the whole thing is that most people do NOT have Mercury retrograde and so they don't know how to handle it like I do, and so communication and other things go awry anyway. So I'm (finally) fully functional, it's everybody else that I have to worry about.

In fact, I have small strokes of genius and rare moments of actual mental clarity during these times. During the first memorable incidence of this, I decided to become a massage therapist. Yep, I'd just been fired from what was to be (thankfully) my last waitressing job (I was burning out anyway, so really they did me a favor) and I was already on the brink of deciding to go to chiropractic school alongside my husband, but I also needed something to do in the meantime, because it's not like I could just bumble through the next couple of years in school only and not work. I was skittish of Mercury retrogrades back then, because I knew that decisions made or activities begun under a retrograde Mercury would probably be passing, a fad, and not pan out. My scars were just about finished healing, after having bought a house several years prior, under a backwards Mercury. Usually a bad idea. We overlooked all kinds of things and just went for it, and that wasn't wise at all. Turns out the house was haunted. But I'll leave that for another post. So, I treaded cautiously. I constantly critically re-evaluated my idea to make sure it was still viable before plunking down several grand (and 6 months of time, especially without working) to go to massage therapy school. In the end, I won. Massage therapy has proven to be good for me (in fact, I did a massage today that basically paid for our--albeit 2-star, but still--hotel room for both nights), and I'll do another one on Sunday that should cover this weekend's gas and hopefully food. It's not my favorite work in the world, but it's the quickest honest and ethical way I know to make a hundred bucks in an hour or two without requiring a degree.

The next lightbulb-gifted retrograde Mercury I remember involved my conversion to Hinduism and my choice and adoption of a Hindu name (life is simply not complete without a religious conversion, especially if it includes a name-change). It was interesting because I was scrolling through the names and I saw it on the page and click! I instantly knew. That was my name. Jyoti. It encompassed everything I believed I was turning into and everything I knew I was trying to be. It is Sanskrit for "light" and at that time I was well on my way through a journey to become a natural healer and a disseminator of knowledge and information, i.e. "shedding light" on things or getting people to "see the light".

I'm going to update this post as I go through my journals to correlate more, because there are indeed more, so I apologize for the abrupt ending, but this abrupt ending is a temporary one.

Greening up your life

OK I know I just wrote a little op-ed describing my rebellious bad-girl relief about being able to throw all of our trash into a single bag without having to recycle and thus maintain several different simultaneous categories of unwanted items, so I understand if it seems a little hypocritical to hop over to the other side and actually encourage environmentalism. Welcome to my semi-schizoid life.

What follow are several miscellaneous suggestions that I actually do follow myself, at least as best I can. I've noticed that after making certain lifestyle changes, I've enjoyed a few unanticipated positive side effects. I've saved money, shed sources/level of stress, and have overall simplified my life. I enjoy these side effects, and so I pass these encouragements on to all who might get some hybrid mileage out of them (although no, I'm not giving up my pickup truck...sorry).

Growing up, my mother always threw unwanted food scraps into a Cool Whip bowl she kept by the kitchen sink, instead of throwing it into the trash. No, the bowl never sat very long; she would throw the scraps far into the backyard, where they would serve as food for the birds and whatnot, or simply reabsorb back into the ground as fertilizer for the soil. Bonus: our trash didn't smell hardly at all, so nobody dreaded taking it out.

About a year ago, I decided to go completely earth-friendly in the female department, and I swapped out my disposable female supplies in favor of cloth underwear liners. They were a little pricey, but they're *definitely* worth it. They're actually *more* sanitary in that they allow your skin and private areas to breathe better. There's no risk of any toxic shock syndrome or hormone imbalances from any chlorine or plastic by-product issues (these substances used in the manufacturing process of conventional female products carry a host of health risks they don't exactly tell you about). They come in different sizes and each liner can hold up to 2 additional inserts. They stay put and absorb everything well. They're much more comfortable. Sanitation is not an issue; these liners soak well and machine wash without a hitch. Piece of cake. Highly recommended!

Another thing my mom did (at least with me) is use cloth diapers. Same concept, not hard. They're much healthier for the baby, as they allow the baby's skin to breathe better, without the tendency for rashes, reactions, or infections. Again, totally machine washable, and better for the environment. My husband and I would go walking in our old neighborhood and as we passed the various trash cans, you could totally tell who had kids with disposable diapers. With neighborhoods so densely populated, I would be *embarrassed* for a smell like that to be emanating from my outdoor trash can!

While we're on the subject of raising babies, I am proud to say (as is my mother) that I was NOT a Gerber baby. My mom didn't buy into that pre-fab artificially-flavored, MSG-laced crap that sadly passes for baby food, that to add insult to injury, carries a high price tag! Instead, she took regular adult food--fruits and vegetables and the like--and mashed them up to a consistency I could deal well with. It worked. Not only was I one of the healthier and more developmentally advanced kids for my age, but she saved a ton of money, and by not overexciting my brain cells to death with MSG just as they're trying to work their hardest, I saved a whole bunch of brain cells. :) I know that tidbit isn't exactly environmental, but then, this is about greening up your life--your whole life.

A big part of my own life has always been my commute, which has usually been long and varyingly hellish. So, I did 2 things. First, as long as I was stuck in a stage of my life where I had to have a long commute, I found my truck's optimum speed limit--the speed at which it runs most efficiently. Most vehicles have a particular speed that they're designed to go, and they actually get their best gas mileage at this speed. For most vehicles, it's somewhere between 55 and 60, depending on the manufacturer. I'm fairly certain mine is 55. For every mile an hour faster you drive than that optimum speed, your gas mileage goes down, and it's not a linear relationship. As in, the further you stray from that magic speed, the even faster your mileage plummets. So, driving fast is not only stressful (I didn't realize how much more stressful until I started driving slower and only then did I notice the difference), but it's also costly. I already hear the protests: you drive faster because want to get to work faster/arrive earlier! Let me dispel that little myth that claims that driving faster automatically translates to less time spent on the road and thus you can make up for leaving late by speeding to work to get there on time. It doesn't, and you can't. I've consistently gone within 5 mph of the speed limit and gotten passed up by some speed demon doing 15-20 mph faster, only to catch up with them at a red light on a sidestreet or on the freeway as they get stuck behind a group of slower cars. Seriously, it's not worth it. One's commute is not shorter just because they go faster. It should be, due to the laws of math and physics, but it's not, due to the intervention of exogenous circumstances of real life like red lights. So do yourself that favor...

Of course, driving slower is only preferable if you can't--gasp--live closer to work! Now there's a thought. Believe me, I counted the days until I graduated school and could 86 the 45-minute-each-way commute. A huge weight lifted when it was finally over. Now that we've been blessed with the chance to start over, we did what we should have done all along; we decided on our workplace location first, and only then did we search for a place to live, setting a maximum radius. It's not the most glamorous place to live, but you can't beat my 7-minute commute, in which I drive entirely on tree-canopied neighborhood sidestreets without even so much as touching a freeway on-ramp. Seriously, I think I navigate through only 2 stoplight-controlled intersections. Oh wait--three. Trust me, it's worth it. I never realized how much better my quality of life would become once I got rid of the heavy commute. I no longer have to glue myself to an AM radio station and live and die by the almighty traffic report. I no longer have to leave my house an hour before I'm supposed to arrive at my destination. I can hook up the iPod to my truck's stereo system if I want, but I might make it through a single song--if that--before getting to the office. It's healthier for me, as I spend less time sitting in a high stress hormone state, and it's healthier for the environment, as I'm not dumping tons of emissions into the air every morning and afternoon.

Although we've always had a dishwasher, we've washed our dishes by hand for years. This may not be practical in a household with multiple children, unless one parent is a stay-at-home. But seriously, it's simpler just to wash them right away after dinner. Because we don't have to wait for a massive load to accumulate before washing dishes, our dishes are always clean, our sink is always clean and empty, our electric and water bills are much lower, and we actually have more free time (as it takes less time since there's no dishwasher to load and unload). Bonus: our dishes are actually cleaner (dishwasher spray heads often get gummed up with hard water minerals or dirt/silt--think back to the commercials for dishsoap that got rid of those pesky spots...or worse, remaining food particles!)

The biggest thing we do is stay home a lot. Yes, we're (quite) broke, so it's not like we have a lot of options (going out practically anywhere is usually expensive). But it's more than that. We're a family-oriented town, and as such, our streets are usually cleared out by 6pm, when everyone gets home from work and sits down with their family for dinner. Going out to eat and shop is not a powersport for us. Staying out at the mall (or on the road, for that matter) until 10pm does not deserve a badge of honor. In fact, it's sort of a societal atrocity that there is still traffic at 10pm (in other cities), and the only way I even know for sure that there is, is because our work and school schedules involuntarily kept us out that late, or we would've been home ages earlier. One could ask, how do I know that these people aren't in the same boat? Half the city, you mean? Concentrated around the mall and restaurant areas? Hardly adds up to anything beyond their control.

Bonuses to the tidbit immediately above: we save a shit-ton of money and time. Not only do we save money on the eating out (and thus additional tipping) expenses, but we also save on gas and all of the other shopping temptations. We also get our evening hours to ourselves, without having them all spoken for me by having to be in the truck. We don't contribute to traffic congestion and we form (priceless) stronger bonds with our (also priceless) family members.

There. I'm so green I'm dang near Kermit. Oh wait, he's still on the porch, smoking.

A 3rd message to seekers of the soul...

I know I had a lot to say during my first two posts addressed to my downloaders, uploaders, chat roommates, and list buddies (much of which applied to some of these groups more than others), but wait! There's more. Isn't there always?

First off, yes, I'm sharing. Get over yourselves. Browse me if you want, but please don't do it more than twice because every time you do, you freeze my P2P program and my computer, risking a P2P program crash, followed by my having to restart my machine, which can take forever. If you want to ensure that I'm sharing, simply add me to your userlist long enough to look at the (obnoxiously large) filecount that will show up behind my username. Yep, over 130,000 files served. And counting. See? And if I'm downloading from you, then you automatically have unrestricted access to ALL of those files, because I've already added you to my userlist, out of courtesy. So if your attempt to browse me is unsuccessful (as evidenced by a "waiting for file list..." or a "error getting file list..."), just run a search for whatever you're looking for (for best results, try searching amongs users in your list only), and I'm sure my name will come up in the search results. And remember kids, I have NO CONTROL over "waiting for file list..." or "error getting file list...". Really. I have done absolutely everything I can from my end; my program, ports, and router are all configured properly (I check this regularly), my connection is always on (although the signal strength of said connection can vary widely), and I am not running a firewall or incompatible software. Hell, I'm not even running Vista or Windows 7, so there are no shenanigans limiting my number of P2P connections. In short, "waiting for file list..." or "error getting file list..." is NOT the same as me not sharing files. If I was such a loser (someone who wasn't sharing files), then you would browse me and it would say, "no files shared". Which it won't. So there.

Second, what's up with all the links flying around? I swear, one of the worst feature updates our P2P put into place was a lift on the server ban you got smacked down with when you messaged your whole userlist. Since they relaxed that, I receive all these private messages several times a day, with nothing in the message but a link to a Podcast, a YouTube video, a graphic format, or some other website I don't know. Please. Why do you expect me to blindly click on it? I won't. I promise. Why? Because I have no way of knowing what the hell the ramifications will be if I did. How do I know that video isn't some sick twisted psycho getting his rocks off slaughtering puppies? How do I know that unfamiliar website isn't chock full of viruses waiting to hijack my computer and rewrite my registry or data mine my information? For all I know, those image links may depict lewd acts involving kids. How am I supposed to know for sure? Hell, I don't even know you, for Christ's sake. I mean, you didn't bother introducing yourself or starting a conversation (a simple "hi" that dangles into the cybernetherworld does not count), so why the hell should you care if I check out your link or not? At least, not without a minimum, "hey, [my name], what's up? It's me, [your non-P2P name]. I thought this would be right up your alley", (because, you know, I already have an inkling of who you are and all)...

Third, I have a new pet peeve. (How is that possible? I thought I had covered them all already. Oh well.) This is the aggravating "disallowed file extension". It works like this: in the program settings, you can choose to block the downloading of certain file types. This is great for preventing the downloading of a virus or some other unwanted program or file type (although you should be paying closer attention to the file extensions you're downloading anyway, instead of relying on the program to do it for you, and for God's sake, do NOT click on an .exe file unless you're downloading software!). However, when you block file extensions like .sfv and .nfo, and then queue albums (by clicking "download containing folder") that contain these files, I don't know if or how it shows up on your end, but on my end it says "disallowed file extension" and it stays there, in my queue, even when I clear the finished and/or aborted transfers. Which means I have to manually right-click on the file you blocked and right-click to delete it myself. This sounds like I'm making a mountain out of a molehill until you have to do it 20 times a day and they're interspersed with other queued downloads so it's not like you can select the whole group of blocked files and delete them with one mouse click. Day after day, it adds up to be a giant pain in the ass. Here's a thought: if YOU don't want these files on YOUR machine, YOU have two options: you can either download it anyway (they're less than 1k, so it's not like they'll clog your harddrive) and then delete it after the fact, or you can simply queue the folder and then delete it from the queue before it has a chance to download (this method might only work if you don't already have the filetype "disallowed", though--not sure). Bottom line is, quit making me do your work for you; quit queueing files you don't intend to download.

Next, and this is a much gentler request because it goes out to people I hold dear enough to extend sufficient trust such that you can actually upload to me (although this hasn't happened in a while, so if you've uploaded something to me recently, don't think this is directed at you): please, please ask me first before uploading anything. This is because I've been known to run preciously low on harddrive space. Often, I have queued downloads of my own and I have made sure to have enough harddrive space left over for those incoming files--but often, no more than that. Uploading extra stuff to my harddrive without my knowing it's coming and having cleared extra harddrive space to accommodate it will cause my other downloads to fail. I know y'all wouldn't do anything like this on purpose, so please don't take this as a scolding, because it's not. I'm just giving you the heads up because you're the kind of considerate ppl who would want that anyway. Please don't be discouraged from uploading! I love the stuff y'all send me and I wouldn't want to miss out on anything you think I might like. It's eerie how well some of you know my tastes LOL. Just please arrange it with me first is all.

Next, and this is NOT a gentle request (because this does not go out to those who are friends because friends don't pull this shit): STOP SPAMMING ME. This is sort of a piggyback on the "don't send me links/graphics/etc" above, except that I feel the need to further emphasize the spam aspect because the bad economy + shit people has = some very brazen ppl out there. What motivated me to write this part is the idiot who said, "here's my girlfriend's (sales/business/MLM) link: sorry for the spam". Apologizing for spam does not let you off the hook, nor does it make your message or your link less spammy or trashy. No, I'm not going to visit your site. No, I'm not going to buy your product. Yep, I know the economy sucks and I know it's tough for you (if you tried to live on so-called "passive income" from things like stock dividends or via the Kiyosaki mindset, you deserve it). The economy sucks here too; it's tough all over. Guess what? We've got it rough, too. (Try graduating six figures in debt and no hope for a job so you have to make your own, only to have to fight an uphill battle trying to recruit customers. I should know. Wanna trade places? Didn't think so.) Just because we're both users of the same P2P does not make us friends, nor does it make me a built-in customer or even part of a target market. Spamming is just trashy, always has been. It's the whole Golden Rule thing: if you don't want it done to you, don't do it to others.

Last but not least, KUDOS (non-sarcastic!) to those of you with no files shared, hanging out in the chat rooms, who refrain from downloading from others. I don't care if you're not sharing anything, as long as you're not clogging the queues of others.

For now, that is all.