we're the Deadbeat Club

Tonight is a couch night. We did put in some studying dues; there's a Clinical Nutrition exam to prepare for. Luckily for me, I find it interesting, which means I study less and retain more. For the remainder of the night, though, my husband is watching "Far and Away" on satellite TV and I'm reclined on one of eight Lay-Z-Boy sections that make up our sofa, with my laptop that has about 40 Firefox windows and 3 Word documents running, contemplating the nature of the world. Among the browser windows are this blog, my basic Facebook page, my Vampire Wars, Mafia Wars, and Fashion Wars games (all are Facebook applications), the fruits of a "revenge+telemarketer" search, a San Antonio message forum on city-data.com, and more. Both cats are off somewhere, probably laying on their backs with their feet spread, secluded in individual rooms, where they can minimize our pestering them.

I click back and forth between my browser windows. Suck someone's blood, gain 2000 units of lifeforce. Bail a fellow vampire out of insane asylum, collect 2000 units. Do a bank heist, collect $5k and an Eight of Hearts. Rob a jewelry store, collect $10k and put it toward an AK-47. Run low on energy? Visit the Godfather for a refill. Yes, boys and girls, since I 90/90'd Clinical Psychology, this is how I plan to spend the remainder of my days in that post-prandial class. Sure, I'll listen. There's something in me that actually finds borderline personality disorder interesting. I'm well aware of the danger they potentially present to a practice. And Lord knows we'll have to deal with them in our practice. Hell, I'm positive I already have. I understand the value of the information we're receiving, and I'm happy to receive it. It's just that it shares mental energy with the bodyslam of a rival mobster.

What aspiring chiropractors need to know... Part 2

OK, that takes care of the materialistic opportunists looking to make a quick buck. For the rest of you who are still with me, here's the next thing you need to know: not all schools are created equal. In fact, while there are some common features set forth via accreditation board mandate, stark differences remain. The main point is that you need to do some soul searching and preliminary research to get a feel for what's out there and to figure out who you are, what kind of doctor you want to be, what direction you want to go in, what you'd like your education to emphasize, how you want to practice, what you'd like to specialize in (if anything), and so forth. Then research each school heavily to see if it's a good fit for you. Do yourself a favor and don't choose a school based on climate or the caliber of neighborhood it's located in. It's only 3 years of your life; after that, you're free to go. Don't cheat yourself out of a good education because of a bad climate. You'll want to live close to school anyway; your budget will be so tight it squeaks. Please also don't pick a school based only on their National Board exam score ranking; while a school's placement in comparison to other schools can be indicative of the quality of instruction received there (at least in that particular area), it may or may not necessarily be the whole story, as many schools are resorting to more drastic methods of manipulating scores, such as only allowing those with a certain GPA to take Board exams, or hiring outside companies to come in and teach board review classes. (Most schools do the latter, and this is a legit phenomenon, but please understand that this will inflate the scores and since these companies are filling in the gaps, the Board scores may not reflect the actual quality of the instruction itself.)

Next, understand that whichever school you do choose, there are pros and cons. As of now, unfortunately, all of the schools are privately owned (usually non-profit, but still...) which keeps tuition high, political underbellies rampant, and curriculum largely unstandardized. Some of the Presidents of some of these schools are really flaky. Do not form your opinion of a school by what the recruiters have to say, or only by attending a sanctioned open house or tour. Talking with recruiters and attending open houses and tours are smart things to do; just understand that no matter which school you go to (and this is not exclusive to chiropractic schools!) you will be fed the company line an treated to a dog and pony show. If students assist or host these events, understand that they are typically ultra-positive-thinking yes-men and women handpicked by administration to portray a carefully crafted image.

Once you apply to a school, you're put on the prospective student list, even if you're not slated to start for another 3-4 years. During this time, you may receive invites to attend seminars or talks or other school-related events. These events often consist of captivating speeches and anecdotes expertly delivered by charismatic motivational speakers. Come with an open mind, but don't get swept up too quickly in the feel-good vibe of the event. These speakers may tell you stories about how they treated this or that with chiropractic. These stories are often true. Even if the speaker made them up, chances are, what they claimed happened, probably has to someone. Chiropractic is like that. Indeed, it's the gift that keeps giving, providing people with many unexpected pleasant effects--that is true. However, take the actual speakers with a grain of salt--an open, but uncommitted mind.

Because see, even though certain speakers will tell you that peoples' asthma or diabetes disappeared while they were under chiropractic care and chances are that has actually happened, you're going to spend the first year wondering when you're actually going to learn to treat someone's underactive thyroid or heart murmur, and sometime during the second year, after listening to different professors make conflicting claims about what is or isn't actually in your scope of practice to diagnose and treat, you're going to finally discover that you better diagnose any little problem--it's your ass if you don't--but you can do exactly dick to treat it. You're going to get depressed at some point during your education because all of your Business classes are going to revolve around submitting insurance paperwork (which fewer and fewer chiropractic doctors are opting to do), which only pays you for treating musculoskeletal conditions--what I call the Stereotypical Triad: back pain, neck pain, and headaches. I.e., you're a glorified physical therapist without the advantages of a master's degree, hospital access, or a solid network of MD referrals. At this point, you're going to want to hang yourself, and shoot out the tires of the BMWs driven by the excessively-paid charismatic speakers who convinced you to get tangled up in this mess in the first place. This is known as The Collapse, where most of your higher aspirations of helping people with any condition (after all, you are a doctor), through any natural means possible, without the use of drugs or surgery, all fall flat onto a thick ICD-9 book full of senseless codes. Forty bucks and you can use maybe 8 of those codes. After all, chiropractic is considered a specialty, and you have a small window of conditions you can claim to treat. With the treatment of practically every condition being considered outside of our scope of practice, you start to wonder if you're becoming a real doctor at all. The doubt sets in. But the rah-rah cure-all seminar guys sorta forgot to mention that part.

I went through my Collapse about halfway through, where I realized that despite the fact that I was attending probably one of the best schools there is, my education still had the completeness of Swiss cheese, and I could've bought a Lincoln Continental brand-new for the same price. During your final year, though, you start to come around, realizing that you're too far in to back out, and what the hell, it's just another year anyway, most of which is resident internship. My saving grace is the fact that I discovered the neurology fellowship. While it's post-doctoral, you can start before you graduate. I also started researching a little more heavily and I realized that I'm not relegated to the back pain, neck pain, and headaches regime, that I can indeed help peoplep with certain conditions, it's just that I'd have to approach it in such a way that I wouldn't get bitchslapped. Most people find their way; there is more than one way to filet a fish. Just know that the dark days do happen and weather the storm.

Know that in the end, if you truly like to help people, and if to help those people get their life back gives you warm fuzzies, you're in the right place. You're doing the right thing. And if you have a good heart, a sharp mind, a good memory, good people and communication skills, and a little business sense, you will go very far. Most peoples' main obstacle is not prejudice from the MDs (although there is, and you should be aware of that), it's themselves--a combo of laziness (mediocrity, the mentality of just doing the minimum to get by) and lack of self-confidence (i.e., if you don't believe you can treat a certain problem or help someone in a certain way, you won't). You also have to be fully aware of the power of an adjustment, for good or bad, and be mentally present with that patient at the time you're delivering that adjustment. Above all, don't be lazy and blame every condition on subluxation and every treatment setback mere chance or a lack of patient compliance--the only way we'll feel like, and be considered, real doctors is if we act like it.

What aspiring chiropractors need to know...

...because boy, I wish someone had told me.

Disclaimer: what I'm about to say is in no particular order other than that which I thought of it. Also, what I'm about to say is from my own perspective, my own experience, and my own perspective of others' experiences. Your mileage may vary. Also, I may add to this post or create new posts on this topic in the future as needed.

First things first. This should go without saying, but for some reason, it doesn't: if you're entering chiropractic school, please understand fully exactly what it is you're doing. You are going to school to become a chiropractic doctor. It is expensive. It is hard. It is long. It is demanding, in every sense of the word. It is every bit as difficult as regular medical school, and sometimes even tougher, and that assertion comes from the mouths of other MDs in the know.

When you finish, however, it's not the cash cow that those with vested interests claim it is. This means you have to truly want to become a Doctor of Chiropractic, and you have to want it bad. I've been approached by several massage therapists (who cannot legally diagnose or treat any particular condition) who want to continue providing massage therapy, but earn a chiropractic license so that they can obtain the legal right to diagnose and treat. I have news: with the amount of information you learn, especially about the biomechanics and orthopedics of the joints and especially the spine, and all of the bone information, radiology classes (3 years' worth!) and all the spinal adjusting, you can't just invest this amount of time and money just to augment a massage therapy practice; you have to also really want to adjust.

For those of you who began to consider becoming a chiropractor via some Top 10 list of Hot Jobs 2010, stop now. Really. For the love of yourself, your family, your bank account, your would-be classmates and professors, and your would-be patients, both during school and post-graduation, just stop. Your heart has to truly be in this or you will be miserable from the word go. You will go through life resenting yourself, your school, your instructors, and the chiropractic field, and you will eventually begin to badmouth the chiropractic field, and we have to battle through enough undue bullshit negative press already; we don't need your help. If you're concerned chiefly about money, do everyone a favor, save yourself much wasted time, and take your shallow materialistic ass elsewhere.

CAN you make money at this profession? Yes. But here's the secret: it sounds cheesy, but it's 100% true--you have to operate from your heart first. Yes, for real. If after you graduate and open your own practice, all you're thinking about as you schedule that new patient or adjust that regular is that what you're doing is bringing in another chunk towards your rent or your light bill, the patient can, and will, sense that your priorities are elsewhere and that your heart is not with them as a doctor's heart should be. And they will go elsewhere. Trust me. Patients may not have doctor degrees and they may not be psychic enough to live inside your head, but they are not stupid; they are smarter than you think they are and they will pick up on your preoccupation and insincerity and they will find someone who truly cares about them. The moral of the story is, take care of your patients and put them first, and don't worry about the money; if your priorities are in the right place and you're helping those who come to see you, the money will more than take care of itself.

everybody's *not* working for the weekend

Not that I'm one to keep the Sabbath holy or anything, but is there no family or personal time that is sacred anymore? Have certain professions become akin to pizza delivery? The disturbing trend is that certain professionals whose status historically earned them the privilege of working regular human business hours are suddenly expected to be at the client's beck and call. Thanks to the bunny-type proliferation of some discount massage places and a shift in the mentality of local spa owners, independent massage therapists find increasingly puzzled reactions to the fact that the therapist might not actually work certain days. It's like we're not supposed to take days off.

My favorites are those who, about twice a year, call us in the wee hours of a weekend morning, laying on the guilt trip that they must absolutely be seen that day. Bonus points if they insist on an evening appointment (I have actually heard one client with muscles of steel say "as late as possible"). This isn't a once-in-a-blue-moon I-slept-wrong-and-I-won't-be-able-to-function-unless-you-work-the-crick-in-my-neck type of situation, either; these are people who make the above-mentioned scenario a way of life. It isn't that they woke up in pain one day; it's that despite our educated suggestions extolling the benefits of massage therapy on a regular and consistent basis, some people still choose to wait until the pain they started to feel several months ago becomes intense enough that it starts interfering with their activities. In other words, what they woke up with today isn't really any worse than that of yesterday, it's just that it wasn't convenient enough for them to plan an appointment around regular business hours. (Also please know that we understand that most people work regular business hours, and so we are already open most of the week until several hours later than standard operating hours.)

Part of a massage therapist's training is (or should be) boundary-setting, which is the practice of setting limits on anything from working hours to appropriate conversation topics, because we seem to have a chronic problem with this as a profession. We are giving, caring, nurturing, open people. We often work in studios set up in our homes. Instead of having an assistant answer the phone, we answer our own. We put up with those looking for those Special Services we don't offer, those who want to negotiate cheaper rates, or those who want to dictate our schedule to us. We find it very hard to say no, to lay down the law. It's tough to walk both sides of the tightrope; you have to go from caring therapist to cashier and policy enforcer in seconds flat. There is an inherent incongruence that comes with the territory, because you are nurturer and confidante on one hand, and a business owner and policymaker on the other. Massage therapists in particular find it generally tough to say "no"; some unscrupulous clients pick up on this hesitation and run with it, eventually leaving the therapist in a situation where s/he feels taken advantage of and walked all over.

I've spent countless hours over the past few years trying to arrive at professional boundaries that were fair and logical, while keeping it simple. The policy manual is a living breathing document that is always subject to change, especially as more clients present me with additional challenges I hadn't considered before. At what point does a late appointment cancellation become too late? What constitutes a valid reason for doing so? How much slack do I cut someone who is late? What if it becomes a habit? Exactly how low will I go when asked about discounted fees, and under what circumstances? How many times is a client allowed to reschedule an appointment? What information is required in order for me to accept a check? What are my open hours? Which days am I taking off? I struggled with these questions and many more.

I understand calling a business number with the sole intention of leaving a message to be returned at the other party's convenience. At this point, you know they're closed anyway, and you're not in a hurry. This is perfectly acceptable. Call me old-fashioned and maybe even overreactive, but I guess my pet peeve is when people call you on a day you're closed (especially if it's in the evening), actually expecting you to pick up the phone and talk to them. As Christian as I am not, I still take Sunday as a day to rejuvenate and reconnect with my family, and I resent anyone who simply expects me to drop everything and make an appointment for them that day. I'm a licensed professional and a person with a family, with a school schedule, with a house to clean, dinner to eat, an aching body to relax, a stress level to bring down, and sleep to get. I, too, like to take my evenings and go for a walk or listen to music. I don't think it's healthy to avail myself 7 days a week, and I guess I resent someone for likening me to McDonald's where I should just be open for them whenever they want, despite the fact that they themselves won't take the time during our regular working hours the rest of the time...except the twice a year, that is.

25 CDs one should never be without

No particular order...

1. Pearl Jam - Ten (1991)
2. Abakus - That Much Closer To The Sun (2004)
3. The Cure - Disintegration (1989)
4. Garbage - (self-titled) (1995)
5. Grapes of Wrath - Now & Again (1989)
6. Queensryche - Empire (1990)
7. Madonna - Like a Virgin (1984)
8. Faith No More - The Real Thing (1989)
9. B-52's - Good Stuff (1992)
10. Oasis - (What's the Story) Morning Glory (1995)
11. REM - Dead Letter Office (1987)
12. U2 - Achtung Baby
13. Throwing Muses - Limbo (1996)
14. Charlatans UK - Between the 10th & 11th (1992)
15. Republica - (self-titled) (1996)
16. Dire Straits - (self-titled) (1978)
17. Rush - Roll the Bones (1991)
18. Jane's Addiction - Ritual De Lo Habitual (1990)
19. Toad the Wet Sprocket - Fear (1991)
20. Veruca Salt - Eight Arms To Hold You (1997)
21. Def Leppard - Hysteria (1987)
22. Toto - Toto IV (1982)
23. Nirvana - Nevermind (1991)
24. REM - Out of Time (1991)
25. Genesis - (self-titled) (1982)

my world. delivered.

Okay, okay, I'll fess up: I'm addicted to Facebook. I hadn't even heard of it until a few months ago when one of our professors included it in his list of rant objects that are sworn to bring down all of industrialized society as we know it. My husband joined a few days before I did; he's fairly stunted socially and he minimizes his contact with computers (although he's a whizbang at troubleshooting them and he does like to spend copious amounts of time on Amazon); thus, I don't even know what spurred him to commit such an act.

Contrary to popular belief, it actually wasn't him that got me interested. No, over lunch 2 days ago, one of our Front-Row Fab Four was reading a comment that one of his friends made online and it piqued my interest. Then I found out you had to join the blasted thing to read what they wrote. So I did.

Big mistake. LOL. It's such a blast. If you're not already familiar with Facebook, approach with caution, because it sucks you in and even if you assumed you aren't the social kind of person, well, there's so much to do on there that it ends up getting the best of you one way or another. First it's the express yourself part. Then it's the finding other people. Then the morbit curiosity sets in and you find yourself wondering who you can dredge up from the past. My God, some people I'd gone to school with look OLD. (This does not apply to any of my friends, so please, nobody cough up any indignant hairballs! :) ) It's fun to find out where everyone went. Many ended up staying in the metro area we graduated high school in. Many left. Someone ended up in Thailand.

And then it becomes about how many friends you can add. You start racking up the numbers, and then you start racking your brain trying to come up with everyone you know so you can add them to your friends list. It's kind of like a status symbol to have a lot of friends. I feel sorry for those who might resort to adding people they don't even know, though. I did add someone by accident. I did a search for the name of someone in my class and a couple came up, one of whom had the same name, city, school, and even similar graduation year (!) and I couldn't tell from the photo that it wasn't the one I had searched for. Thinking I had the right guy, I sent an "Add Friend" request and he had accepted it (probably thinking I was someone from his past or whatever) and now that I know it's the wrong guy, I'm keeping things as they are regardless. I'm too embarrassed to remove him and say "oh. You're not the right one." LOL.

Facebook has now become my new way of staying awake in some of the more droning morning classes where profs read monotonously from Power Points (won't mention names, but you catch my drift), and other later morning or afternoon times where the blood sugar just decides to exercise its autonomy and plummet. In fact, a classmate on my friends list who sits behind me saw my screen and instant-messaged me with a good-natured "hey you stop that". So, sitting not more than 2 feet away from each other, we're messaging back and forth. It had this fun nerdy surreal quality to it.

My husband is an addict, too. In fact, no matter how late it is and how quickly tomorrow morning will be here, Mister-I-won't-go-to-my-high-school-reunions-because-I-didn't-like-them-then-so-why-would-I-want-to-see-them-now actually checks his Facebook for new updates and comments before retiring for bed. Now if that's not dedication...

lazy kitty

My professors might beg--or even demand--me to reconsider, but I'm taking some much-needed time for myself today. A little R & R, if you will. Time to put the para back into parasympathetic. It might be easy for them to wag their fingers in disappointment, but then again, they didn't have to sit through over 850 questions over the last 3 days, during which, right smack in the middle of it all, I got a nasty stomach flu virus for the first time in over 10 years. Ten freakin' years without so much as a yoo-hoo to the porcelain god and the bug picks this weekend to make me an altar girl. Not funny.

Over the years, I've found some pretty kick-ass ways to de-stress; the added bonus is that they don't involve anything illegal, destructive, or dangerous. Before you get bummed and hit the "back" button on your Firefox window, however, gimme a chance. Some of these remedies work more than you might think, and even if my system isn't totally up for all of them yet (particularly the incense), I'll take part in what I can, and as for the rest, well, I'm definitely there in spirit.

Herbs. There are certain herbs that are particular effective for calming one down and lifting one's spirits. No, I don't mean the herb they pay homage to via ASCII Art in nerd-based chat rooms. I mean stuff you can even get at Whole Foods, like kava kava. Kava kava has been alleged to put some extra stress on the kidneys (although probably no more so than excess dietary protein), so just make sure you drink plenty of water and that you're not on dialysis or anything. Valerian Root is pretty groovy, too. Its smell is among the worst on the planet, but somehow this is not the case for its taste. Valerian is one you might want to take closer to the end of the day, as it can take enough edge off that you might feel like going to sleep.

Aromatherapy. Lavendar is best known for its relaxing, slightly sedating effect. I'm not sure how much of it is placebo, but people will swear by it. It's also one of the most popular aromatherapeutic scents my massage therapy clients request at my studio. When I took my first whiff, I didn't see what all the fuss was about. After some time, though, it snuck up on me and grew on me, and now I sometimes secretly hope a client will request it. If lavendar isn't your thing, though, no worries. You'll probably find solace in another scent, such as ylang-ylang or something more earthy like cedarwood or more medicine-y like eucalyptus.

Exercise. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but a good workout can actually be very relaxing, either during or after. You don't have to run yourself into the ground; a simple 30 to 60-minute walk will do. More vigorous exercise like a martial arts class is good, too; the class itself isn't exactly sleep-inducing, but it does provide an outlet for the accumulated stresses of the day so that when you're done, you can go home and actually relax.

Chiropractic. This remedy might surprise you, but it is the single quickest way to balance out your nervous system. Since nerves run through the spinal cord, there's an immense concentration of sensors all along the spine. When you get (properly!) adjusted in a certain way, these sensors get activated and they basically tell your brain to balance everything out. There are also bundles of nerve cells in certain parts of your spine that specifically relate to relaxation centers and can relax you directly. This isn't something you can do yourself, nor is it something you can have an untrained buddy do. Please do yourself the favor and go to someone who has had the schooling, and has the license to prove it.

Massage Therapy. You're probably not as surprised to see this one. Many people get a massage on a regular basis just to keep themselves relaxed. Two things they should realize, though, is that once a month or less is not going to cut it. The anti-stress effects of massage last a week at best. For economic reasons, many people schedule every 2 weeks or so as a compromise. The other thing is that if they're not also under chiropractic care, they may be doing themselves a disservice, because many clients request work on sore areas and not knowing better, therapists oblige. Sore areas are usually that way because they're overstretched, and massage therapy only stretches them further. This creates changes in posture over time that if left untreated, become chronic. Massage therapy is a fantastic way to relax; just make sure to find a good therapist who does strictly relaxation work at moderate to light pressure, or who does good corrective work, depending on what your goals are. Also, make sure that the nerves that feed those muscles are functioning (hence, your trusty DC), and do drink tons of water after the session!

Vitamins. There are certain vitamins that have a specific anti-stress effect. Vitamin B5, or pantothenic acid is one of them, but it works better when taken in combination with the rest of the B vitamins. Vitamins don't like to be isolated by themselves, so pick up a bottle of quality B-complex capsules or liquid (or sublingual, if you can find it). You'll get plenty of B5 there. In addition, certain foods can have a relaxing effect. I'm not talking about comfort foods here; I'm talking about protein-rich foods that are also high in the amino acid tryptophan, like warm milk, turkey, and salmon. It's not by accident that everyone falls asleep promptly after Thanksgiving dinner; it's because the turkey has tons of tryptophan in it, which your body converts to serotonin, a brain chemical responsible for happy, calm moods. (The people who get in fights with the family over Thanksgiving must not have gotten good tryptophan-packed turkey!)

Incense. This is one of my favorite ways to relax. I haven't yet heard of any real mystical ancient medicinal qualities associated with any particular type or scent of incense, but I do find nag champa very relaxing. The scent is sweet, rich, and earthy. It may be a bit heavy for some, but try it and see. I also like Satya Baba incense. It's a bit sweeter yet and a wee bit less heavy. I also found some gems at Earthbound Trading Company. They have names for all of their flavors of incense, so I never know exactly what the scent is made up of, but go exploring; it's worth it.

Other activities, like reading and talking. Along with exercise, these are left-brain activities. When we are stressed out, we tend to live more in the right hemisphere, which has more and stronger connections to the stressful, adrenalin-soaked fight-or-flight response. During years of chronic stress, people shift more into what is called right-brain dominance. Both hemispheres can't be dominant, however; there's only one alpha, so if one is too strong, the other is that much weaker. Reading a book or schmoozing with your spouse or a small group of friends wakes up the left side of the brain. Once it feels included and not left-out, it begins to participate and you end up with this more balanced feeling. That's why after a double-date or a girls' night out, you come home feeling refreshed (given that it went smoothly). You can't quite put your finger on it, but somehow all is right with the world. Reading has a similar effect. Unless you're engrossed in a suspenseful page-turner, reading is very relaxing and often, people are out within minutes. Same concept. (Side note: Right-brain/left-brain dominance and balancing are the basis for chiropractic neurology and are 100% backed up by physiological, neurological, and psychological fact. It's such an important concept that permeates practically every daily activity and thought, that it will probably eventually get its own post.)

Music. Ah, yes. Music - that without which the world would never be complete. Some good dreamy music is good, or some upbeat but relaxing acoustic guitar. I personally really like the ethnic-tinged ambient/dub kind of music, which blends contemporary beats and instrumental technology with ancient traditional instruments, vocals, and styles. I also like some downtempo lounge. And of course, the Spanish-influenced acoustic guitar music as well. Be careful which music you choose, though. Some of your favorite stuff may not be as relaxing as you think and may actually have the opposite effect.

Pet the kitties. If you have cats, dogs, or something else cuddly, research has shown that they lower blood pressure. For real. So, go pet or snuggle up to your cat. Listen to them purr. If you're in the health-care field, grab your stethoscope and put it up to your cat's side as they purr. Not to sound all sentimental, but it's kinda special.

And as for my professors? Worry not, doctors; studying for a test is guaranteed to put someone to sleep! :)

Jesus he knows me

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Tomorrow ends the first week of Lent. Woo-hoo! Only 30-something more days until you are off the hook for another year. Listen, I was brought up semi-Catholic, so I know all about the whole self-sacrifice thing. Not that my parents were the strictest, bestest Catholics in the world, but I got the point. Somehow we convinced our parents that we learned better by watching others. Or maybe they simply gave up when we kept coming up with ideas that looked good on paper--say, giving up homework or going to church. Heh, our current Unitarian Universalist intern minister mentioned giving up pronouns for Lent. You know, as staunchly non-Christian as I am, I might've actually done that.

See, I never exactly figured out how giving up chocolate or MTV for over a month would make me a better person. Hell, it sure didn't seem to make a dent in some of the rather pompous personas of the devout religious people I knew, so why bother? I figured there were better ways to improve and evolve.

I realized that one of the reasons I am drawn to faiths from the other side of the globe is that they run like a self-contained operating system on a computer rather than a mere application inside of a larger, secular OS. Religion and spirituality are so interwoven with the lives of those in the Old World that they simply can't be separated from the rest of life.

In the West, on the other hand, life is life, the operating system, and religion is this little applet westerners run on Sunday mornings because it's something they've always done. They obediently listen to their priest or minister tell them how they should live (and admittedly they have some good ideas, if only they wouldn't fall on such deaf ears) and as soon as the service is over, they bunch at the door, coming short of pushing and shoving on the way out to their SUVs, if for no other reason than the fact that they just got through a sermon that ultimately boils down to the advocation of the Golden Rule. Once they pull out of the church parking lot and onto the road, however, the animalistic mentality resumes the driver's seat and any rude behavior is fair game. Gone is the decency, the respect for fellow man and back comes the materialism and the Generation Me orientation from which they operate. And it's open season on anyone who might even accidentally stand in their way. Something just doesn't seem right.

And suddenly, I'm reminded of our own church, the modest but energy-rich Unitarian Universalist clubhouse that is increasingly becoming sort of a home away from home. And I realize how decidedly people do not crowd and bunch around the door and how it is not a mass exodus to leave the parking lot and get on with the day. In fact, for every person that trickles out, many more actually stay behind--that's right, longer than what is required!--and get together to continue the respectful, educational discussion inspired by the depth and variation of each unique service that really plays out more like a History International evening cultural special than it does a good ol' fashioned American church service. And I am reminded of the gift potential that a weekly anchor like a good sermon can serve, as long as it is done for the right reasons, such as education, enlightenment, and unity, rather than validation and vindication for belief in self-righteous dogma. I'm slowly coming to realize that no matter how staunchly resistant one is to organized religion, there still can be an unrealized void in one's soul that a respectful and open-minded service can fill. And I'm reminded of the spirituality that can resonate in such a place, and in the hearts of such people who would visit there.

This past Sunday, we did discuss the spirituality of Lent, and about how it's not necessarily just putting in your annual due of giving up something you like, like coffee or a Walkman (remember those? I suppose it's Ipod now--only my fingers would have to drop several dozen degrees before you'll ever be able to pry that from me :) ) But it's more than that. The great gift lies in realizing how much we DO have, and how much we should be thankful for. I know my fellow Parker bretheren and I chuckle with varying degrees of cynicism when we hear the tired phrase "attitude of gratitude" because it does sound lame and cliche. But I do advocate taking the time to establish some kind of communication with whichever Higher Power you call to, and taking the time to appreciate what you have, whether it's the fact that you made it through the day without getting paralyzed, to aceing that miderm lab practical. Cool part is, you don't even have to give anything up for several weeks to do this.

Websites that rule

I'm feeling rather helpful today. Not quite the "go tell it on the mountain" level of personal calling, but at least to spread the good werd, anyway. Thought I'd make a lil' list of websites I have found particularly helpful throughout the years. Maybe you've heard of some of them, maybe you haven't. Regardless, get your click on and enjoy...

(Note: these are in no particular order other than that which they came to mind.)

Site: soma.fm. (Yes, without the "www". Sophisticated, huh?)
Why the site rules: This page is home to 14 different FREE, internet radio stations dedicated to playing a wide variety of eclectic, independent music. Bonus: they're also commercial free, save for the occasional FYI that they are donation-supported and the un-annoying suggestion to donate.

Site: consumerist.org. (Also without the "www".)
Why the site rules: Despite its sometimes slow-and-desperate news days and their pointed lack of verification of information sources (attributes which some could argue are part of its candid charm) this site offers a good host of information about different companies from a consumer point of view. Whether a company screwed them over as a customer, or a disgruntled ex-employee decided to bear all, the site is at least a good entertainment source, and it can even offer the public some "don't let this happen to you" advice about how not to get suckered into the increasingly scummy practices of some of the most mischievous of the Fortune 500.

Site: failblog.org. (OK, I'm getting creeped out now.)
Why the site rules: Capitalizing shamelessly on the misfortune and naivety of others and armed with the substandard megapixel-quality cellphone insta-cameras to prove it, this site lists photos and videos of likely candidates of Darwin awards. Awesome for a good laugh. Refreshingly non-political.

Site: www.bodyworkonline.com.
Why the site rules: This is a serious professional internet message forum specifically for massage therapists. If you're an MT of any type (or you're at all considering entering the field) and you haven't yet heard of this site or visited, you really need to. Be sure to plan several hours, because the threads are organized as all get out, and the site is very addicting. For best results, you'll want to start at the beginning of the archives, which means digging deep and working backwards, but it's worth it. If you're not an MT or interested in the field, don't feel left out. If you're a client or a hobbyist, there's even a section for you. Don't worry, registration is always free and you won't receive any spam.

Site: www. daveramsey.com.
Why the site rules: No one has done more to change the financial outlook of more people in this country than Dave Ramsey. Nobody talks more sense than he does. He has a refreshing lack of covert agenda or absence of hard sales of any product or service. He's in it simply to share information and help people out and you can tell right away. Implementing his ideas has already changed our lives. On his site, you can find financial and business professionals in your city that think like he does. The site also has anecdotes of people who fell into traps, and they post their stories so others don't fall into their footsteps.

Site: www.classstuff.net.
Why the site rules: If you've ever considered becoming a chiropractic doctor, know that you are not alone in your fruitless search for candid information about what it's really like in chiropractic school. Wouldn't it be nice to hear from someone without an agenda? Honestly, there is very little actual objective information publically available. This website contains the archives of writings by one person in one class at one school who chronicled the experiences of the class from Day 1 up until graduation. These are recent grads, too; they walked the stage in December 2008, so you know you're not getting the testimony of someone who graduated in the 1970s when chiropractic education seemed, overall, much better. While your usage mileage may vary, it's still well-written and worth several great laughs.

Site: www.planetc1.com.
Why the site rules: If you've started researching the chiropractic field, chances are, you came across this site first, but in case you haven't, here's the lowdown: it is chalk full of good information--anything from well-written serious articles to a good selection of classified ads. Definitely don't make any final decisions about chiropractic (becoming one) until you've seen this site.

Site: www. kakophone.com.
Why the site rules: You can find out what was going on the day of your birth, and your various signs according to a gazillion different astrological systems. While it's not brimming with pragmatic information like insider stock tips or anything, but it IS a delicious time-waster that is definitely worth the visit. Just enter in your birthday and presto: apparently I'm the Pine sign in Celtic astrology, and the Eagle in Aztec astrology. My husband tried it too--in Aztec terms, he's the sign of Death.

Site: www.mercola.com.
Why the site rules: You probably already know about this site, but if not...if you've ever wanted a wealth of information on all kinds of health topics and natural remedies for your most mysterious and frustrating conditions, this is definitely a good place to start. It even has a searchable database; the only drawback is that to view some articles you have to register. Never fear, registration is free, and the information is worth it. Unfortunately there is still a lack of mention of adjustments, which is surprising considering Mercola is a DO (Doctor of Osteopathy, the field of which was also, like chiropractic, found on naturopathic principles, self-healing philosophies, and manual spinal adjusting).

Site: www.ambient.us.
Why the site rules: Ready to expand your musical horizons? Ready to travel around the world instrumentally, and reach new depths or heights of the art of chilling out? Craving a change, a shakedown, an upheaval in the same ol' same ol'? Look no further. The only drawback is that it doesn't seem to have been updated in a while; most of the music is from 3-5 years ago. But then again, much of the music that came out during that time remains a Gold Standard of sorts today. So dilate your mind and crank up the Ipod...

Site: www.ambientmusicguide.com.
Why the site rules: If the Ambient.us site whets your appetite, this site will satisfy your palette all the better. It ventures more in-depth, and it's much better organized and updated.

Site: www.pandora.com.
Why the site rules: Crank the big stacks, people! Spawned from the brainchild of geniuses, this is a FREE music genome project. Pull up the site and simply punch in a song title or artist, and this gem of a site will actually create an entire radio station around the properties and nature of that song, delivering songs both known and unknown and injecting fresh blood into the stale contemporary music landscape. A delicious tool for work or at home. Better yet, create a free account and they will save your station(s)--yes, you can have as many as you want, as far as I know--and your preferences. You can even vote individual songs up or down, so if something they anticipated you'd like misses the mark, they learn from their mistake and they never play that song again.

Site: www. spiritofradio.ca.
Why the site rules: This is another music site, but it's different. This one is a die-hard-altern80s-fan-driven resource for All Things (Genuinely) Alternative, even before the word "alternative" came to be associated with that type of formerly-underground music. Neat feature: the "Song ID" link that serves as a Godsend when trying to identify the artist of the really bitchin' snippet you caught the very end of after dosing off at 3am during another insomniac attack.

That's all I can think of for now. There may very well be more to come. Feel free to add your own!

You can major in Game Boy if you know how to bullshit

Anybody who hasn't seen the movie "PCU" simply hasn't lived. If you came of age before 1992, or after 2000, you probably won't appreciate it as much as those who gained greater consciousness in the '90s, but it's still worth it.

For those of you who secretly (or overtly) love this cult classic, I was, for all practical purposes, Droz. Yeah, the 30-something with sideburns who crammed 4 years into 7. Except that I'm going on 13. And I don't have sideburns.

No, I'm not an underachiever--at least, not anymore; I'm just a late bloomer who spent most of my early years dazed and confused. No, I don't even have any good memories of brownies with a US RDA of vitamins T, H, and C; I simply didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up, even after I grew up.

It all started when I was 12 or so. I must've had a gut feeling about the impending struggle facing me later, because I started to panic: just exactly what DID I want to do with the rest of my life? I hadn't a clue. Everything that I was interested in usually required me to be in the right place at the right time. In other words, the Gods had to smile down upon me and I wasn't sure they even knew I existed.

The first occupation I ever seriously considered was to be a composer of original musical soundtracks for movies, a la Alan Silvestri and James Horner. With original music pouring out of me faster than I could ever record it or write it down, I thought I was unstoppable. Until it dried up. Yeah, no matter how prolific you are or how good the material, it can suddenly turn off just like that. I did nothing differently; nothing changed. Not my stress level, my practice schedule, my school demands--nothing. I play and compose music to this day, and occasionally I write it down. But I did learn that I could never rely on the creative muse as a practical steady stream of income, because sometimes even muses take catnaps.

The next line of work I gave serious thought to was to work for the FBI in their Behavioral Science Department. Like the rest of the industrialized world circa 1992, I had seen "Silence of the Lambs" and I wanted to BE Jodi Foster's character, Clarice Starling. Without the sophistically-masked catcalls from a supervisor 3o years my senior, however. But somehow I instinctually knew that the job would be far more draining and on far deeper levels than I would ever be able to withstand, so I ditched the thought after a year or two.

After that, I considered all kinds of things. An artist--acrylic painting, specifically. A creative writer--short stories and adolescent novels and the like. A psychologist, whether dealing in general family counseling, or the deep abyss of the abnormal. An actress, which is what I put on my college application as my intended major at the time.

Acting would've been fun. But a major run-in with a self-serving hotheaded professor (who also happened to be my assigned advisor) who was apparently having a bad day ended all that. Besides, what could a person do with a theater degree anyway? Why bother getting a degree when all you really have to do is audition for a part? Big breaks don't necessarily go to those with the most prestigious pedigrees. With circumductive slithering, I switched both majors and advisors late one afternoon after Mr. Hyde had left for the day. I had been thinking about switching to a Business major anyway, and this seemed as good a time as any other.

I stuck with Business for a while. It's an intelligent strategy, really. I mean, there aren't exactly a lot of jobs (especially a lot of attractive ones) outside of a business environment. I figured that since to sustain yourself inevitably involves conducting business of some kind, a degree in the subject just might come in handy. Accounting, Marketing, Economics--all are pretty info-packed when it comes to surviving and thriving in the corporate (or even non-corporate) world. At the time of my decision to switch, my goals were pretty simply. I was morphing into one of Those People, who just wanted to work a M-F, 8-5 job, come home, enjoy my medicore pursuits like cable TV and a phone package that included unlimited long distance. I wanted enough money in my bank account to enjoy a recent-model Toyota, a daily Chai Latte at Starbucks, and a monthly splurge on cotton cardigans from The GAP.

But somewhere along the line, Business got boring. When it did, I considered Business-related subsets, such as Computer Science, IT, and Web Page Design, but in the end, something wasn't quite right about any of them. Mediocrity suddenly didn't seem so appealing. I no longer wanted to fade into the Khaki-wearing landscape making their way through the Star Wars-esque clone army to my mass-manufactured cubicle. The concepts of passion and meaning entered into my thought process and my list of values--what I wanted out of life.

So I did a complete 180 and in an altruistic utopian dream, I strove to become a teacher. I was still intensely interested in Economics; in fact, it wasn't just an area of interest or a stock-investing strategy--it was a distinct lifestyle, an entirely separate way of looking at the world. Although I was still in systematic left-brain territory, I couldn't help but to succumb to right-brain passion about it. And most people who are interested in Economics also inevitably end up admitting to themselves that they're also fascinated by History, because the two subjects are at least partially intertwined such that the study of one leads to the study of the other. It made perfect sense, then, that my life's work was to teach Economics and History, hopefully imparting my same passion to a group of impressionable students who were also conveniently a captive audience.

That didn't last long. Talking to a couple of teachers who loved the kids but couldn't stand their overbearing, micromanaging administrations cured me of ever wanting to work in any public school. And private schools paid even less, with no guarantee of any less micromanagement and headache.

So, back to limbo status. I decided to plunge forward, signing up for another batch of classes the next trimester, hanging by a thread of faith that something would eventually reveal itself. Upon hearing of an actual Bachelor's degree in Integrative Studies (i.e. 4 Years of General Eds for the Undecided and Commitment-Phobic), I thought that was as good a degree plan as any, at least until an epiphany emerged from deep within the recesses of my intuition.

Eventually it did--quite by "accident". I'll save my own personal physical epiphany and metamorphosis into a higher state of health for another post, but suffice it to say that once I discovered what I could do for myself and exactly how effective it was, I wanted to share. I became interested in that which I never thought I'd give the time of day: physical health. Nutrition. Herbs. Holistic and natural healing. Wow. My first thought was, "you mean to tell me I don't need medication to live?" And my second thought was, "now it's time to tell the world". I began to see the world as a captive population in a dysfunctional institution designed to keep people sick and never really get them better. I began to see myself as their messiah of sorts, bound and determined to set them free from the clutches of conventional medicine and Let My People Go, showing them that there's another way--one that at least for most conditions, is usually cheaper, sometimes faster, and almost always more effective.

I still remember the first person I ever gave health advice to. My Economics professor mentioned in passing that she was coming down with a cold and felt miserable. Armed with my newfound knowledge of basic herbs and supplements, I approached her after class and told her I thought I could help. She was very receptive, and when I offered to bring her a bag of a specific type of herbal tea, she enthusiastically agreed. The next day, she actually approached ME, thanking me, and said very emphatically that what I suggested had helped her so much, that she felt so much better, and that she would not otherwise have been able to hold class today.

WOW. Warm fuzzies. That hit the spot. No payment, just the recognition, and most of all, the knowledge that I may have actually HELPED someone. That filled the void that had been the case with all the other professions I had considered before. There had always been something missing, and that was it--the satisfaction of simply serving others.

Although I've stumbled upon that which allows me the best of all worlds: adaptability, serving others, independence & freedom, mental and intellectual stimulation, and financial potential, we still continue to tweak those plans, fine-tuning them with ever greater detail as we pave our path and make our mark on the world. Specifics change and viewpoints oscillate, but in the end it boils down to one goal: treating patients. With any luck, someday I might just be able to afford that Game Boy - over a daily Chai Latte. :)