Today was brought to you by the letters I, g, & E

Good God(dess). I don't think I've ever been so unproductive in my life.

See, the sneezing started up yesterday afternoon but remained at a dull roar until this morning. It started out bearable enough, but I could see things escalating downhill (woo-hoo! Still capable of oxymorons) from there (all of my little IgE warriors were coming out to play, resulting in nasal anaphylaxis), so I took the bull by the horns and prophylactically took a non-drowsy Claritin and we headed to the office. Amazing how sidestreet potholes and Hill Country thunderstorm remnants come together oh-so-synergistically to create the San Antonio Mini-Rapids in the street. The office pictures we were supposed to shoot for our magazine ad (we're being published! Oh yeah....we paid for that) didn't materialize because the photographer couldn't get out of her driveway. Really. Rain will do that to you here. If you want to flip out my mom, just tell her you did something risky after the fact. 'Cause, really, what's she gonna do? You already sinned; it's over and done.

Me: "Oh! Mom guess what I did today?? I drove through a FLOOD! All (husband) and I could say is, 'TRUCK!!!'" and I thought it was funny.

Mom, turning so pale you could feel it through 1700 miles of phone-line: "Promise me you'll never do that again!"

Me, surprised and bewildered: "But... How else am I supposed to get to Hobby Lobby?"

And so it goes. No, I wasn't baked. Not even close. So now that I've demonstrated San Antonio's capability of instantaneously turning a slight downpour into the need for Roman aqueducts, you can imagine the 1+1=50 effect of thunderstorms + unintended Claritin side effects. You laugh...

I started to get tired sometime around noon...I think. I just know it was a heavy, inviting feeling that wanted to dominate every conscious thought. Having woken up to a lullaby thunderstorm and abnormally dark skies didn't help either. So I laid down on the chiropractic table (I'm a blogger, not a grammarista) and went away. My brain still raced; I knew there were so many things that I should've been working on, so many outstanding projects, and I knew I wasn't getting anything done for shit. But alas, while my brain said "what the hell are you doing?" my body said, "stop. You ain't goin' nowhere." In the end, my body won.

But only for about an hour. When I woke up, I staggered into my husband's office, feeling no more rested or ready to get up and tackle the day than I had before I laid down, but I had to draw the line and besides--I was getting cold. Your body does that when you sleep, especially if the A/C is on. I did notice that my motor cortex was a little dampened. While my brain knew what I wanted to say, I couldn't make the movements to spit the words out. Everything was slow, and I was unstable when I walked. All of this drove my brain nuts; my mind was aware of everything, I had a gameplan and I knew what I had to do, but I lacked the motor skills to carry anything out. Such a nice limbo. Adding insult to injury, more thunder and more rain.

So now I'm home, wearing an assgroove in the couch cusion. The employment application I was supposed to finish typing up? Nope. The office pictures we were supposed to take? Nope. The case management ideas I was supposed to formulate? Nada. And the Apex Blood Chemistry studying I wanted to do? Hell no. Wow, today really had a point didn't it? Do I get a do-over? Apparently not. With weeks blipping by like milemarkers on the open road, I have never so intensely wanted time to just slow down and let me do my thing and get caught up.

But I did get the interview questions done...or so I presume. Tomorrow's the open house. Let's just hope that all of my little IgE warriors (for non-docs: allergies) slip back into their little caverns and come out to play another day. Like oh, how about on a Sunday when I've got jack shit going on?