Pandora's Treasure Chest

For those of you who aren't familiar with Pandora, it's a site that lets you enter the name of a song or artist into a search box and it'll build a custom radio station based on the anatomical characteristics of that song or artist. It's known as the Music Genome Project; by "anatomical characteristics", I mean that someone has sat there, listening to one particular song for an average of 30 minutes, thoroughly dissecting it. They've taken notes on characteristics such as major or minor key, baseline, melody, style/genre, dominant instruments, use of percussion, and others. And then they've taken the next step and matched up each song with other sister songs that share similar qualities. Not only do the fine folks at Pandora do this for each song, but they also do this for each individual artist (although I'm less sure how), thus the term "Music Genome Project".

After not having used Pandora in a while, I recently revisited the site and signed in. I don't know if it's just me or what, but what I noticed, I didn't like. The entire "skin" of the site took on the theme (colors and obnoxiousness and all) of the ad it was showing. They had always had short (15-second or so) commercial breaks, but it used to be every 6-7 songs or so, not every 3. The worst part is, I suddenly started hearing about them limiting listeners with free accounts to 40 hours a MONTH. To add insult to injury, you had to pay a monthly fee for unlimited listening (which you could do before for free, to my knowledge, hence the addition of commercials, which I also don't think had existed earlier), and even paid unlimited listening didn't remove any of the commercials.

Needless to say, I was a little sour on the site. Still am. That probably won't change. But I did have a neat experience today. A friend of mine with equally eclectic music tastes is also on Pandora. She made herself a profile and a few custom stations that she shares publicly. I didn't know how to set this up, but I had an account, so she walked me through the process. With her help I created an awesome new random station and thanks to her, Eclectique was born.

Sure, it's nothing but a Pandora station, but still, it's sweet, if I do say so myself. I generally refrained from adding specific songs, because let's face it: Pandora's music catalog is limited as it is, and its interface and anticipation skills haven't been perfected yet. But I did add artists, and I thought I'd list a few below. Before you ask, yes, this is all in one station. Vive la variety.

B-52s
Dire Straits
Los Aterciopelados
Gnarls Barkley
Queensryche
Maroon 5
Roxette
Blue Rodeo
Thievery Corporation
Manu Chao
Beck
R.E.M.
Death Cab For Cutie
Laika
Seal
Gorillaz
Tosca
Slaid Cleaves
Massive Attack
Basia
Ryan Adams
KT Tunstall
Zero 7
Squeeze
Alison Krauss & Union Station
Cafe Tacuba
Great Northern
Ivy
Waldeck
The Gourds
Tragically Hip

I know I should've been more productive with my morning, but an allergy attack was setting in and because of that, what started out as a beautiful, energetic day turned into something bleak and fatiguing and I needed a little spark. It didn't make my allergies any better or help me with my to-do list, but it sure gave me a nice diversion. Hopefully people will stumble upon it while browsing and it'll do the same for them.

If you're interested, you can listen HERE.

Between a rock and a hard case

I learned something. I learned that starting around 3am, most satellite/cable channels drop like flies, one by one, switching over to bottom-feeding Paid Programming. TBS does not do this; in fact, they air nostalgic "Married With Children" episodes back-to-back until at least 6am. I don't know what they do after 6am because that's when I finally dropped off to sleep this morning.

I have not been that nocturnally wired since around April.

I felt it coming on, the old familiar insomniac pattern. Hours clicked by, starting at midnight, then 1am, and so on. I waited for it to set in, that comfortable the-edge-has-been-taken-off peace that normal people are supposed to feel at the end of the day, but it never did. Much like the infamous Energizer Bunny, I kept going and going and going.

I searched my soul for the reason. I narrowed it down. It didn't take long.

I didn't exactly want to write about this, because I didn't want to excessively dwell on this or cultivate any negative energy or karma, but I've been stuck in a mental rut over this, unable to shake it and get on with life. Maybe getting it out in the open will let me completely process what happened, once and for all.

It had to do with an email I received that day from a patient. The patient was dropping out of care. This patient was not the first to do so, but it the manner in which they did so came completely out of the blue...or even indigo.

To be able to fully appreciate the situation, it's probably best that I start at the beginning. Patient presents with pain in both feet almost consistent with diabetes. Being in both feet but nowhere else, the problem is almost assuredly metabolic in nature, which is exactly what I've been educated and trained to deal with. Patient also states that they are vegan, which means they don't consume ANY animal products at all. As I conveyed my sensitivity and support of dietary causes (before I did further research and learned better) since I had been vegetarian myself, the patient quickly added that "health came first" and that they'd be willing to consider adding animal products back into their diet if necessary. Great! An open-minded vegan. That's kind of rare, to tell you the truth. And that's coming from firsthand experience as a (former) vegetarian with plenty of long-term vegetarian and vegan friends.

As you can see, we're off to a great start.

A visit or two later, we've progressed happily to the point where it's time to talk about adopting a diet that's compatible with the patient's needs . Since I hadn't yet attempted to create a vegan version of these dietary changes, and the patient had previously stated that they'd consider adding certain animal products back in, I knew that the more animal products they'd consider, the easier my job would be at devising such a plan. So, I asked the patient about several different foods. In previous visits, they mentioned their system never tolerated certain animal foods well, but could tolerate others, so I asked the patient about several different animal food sources, hoping to generate a list that day that I could then refer to when creating the plan. Well, suddenly they weren't sure, they'd have to talk with their significant other, who does the cooking. That was perfectly fine; I mentioned a few times throughout the visit that the patient could just email me within the next day or two after they had a chance to talk to the significant other.

I waited a week. Not a peep.

So, I sent a very benign, friendly, non-nagging email simply to follow up on the previous visit, and I listed the various animal food sources that were least likely to cause any unpleasant symptoms or allergic/hypersensitivity reactions.

I couple days later, I received a reply.

"We are vegan. We do not eat any animal products at all. If this is too complicated for you, please don't do it."

Ummm, okaaaaay.

I SO wanted to fire back a long, indignant response, but though some act of the Goddess, I kept myself in check. Yes, I sent a reply. Yes, it was way too gentle. Yes, my ego got bruised. I was totally NOT expecting this. (If one has to ask why, they need only re-read the preceding information above.)

So, in my semi-anonymity (Facebook privacy settings are locked down HARD, and this blog's ranking on Google is non-existent, so there's virtually no way they'll actually find this and even if they did, I'm not sure they'd be able to verify it's them), I'll fire off my haughty retort here.

First of all. I know they're vegan. They've made that plain as day on several occasions. I've even acknowledged as such, bending over backwards to be respectful and neutrally informative, spending hours researching ways we can work WITH their current diet and minimizing any changes they'd have to make. (Which, by the way, in the beginning they responded with something along the lines of, "it's OK; health comes first", which basically told me that they weren't all that hardcore.) The point is, I knew they were vegan. And yes, I even know what that means! No animals, got it! Yay me!

Next order of business. My inability to devise a physiologically-correct diet plan has absolutely less than zero to do with it being "too complicated for me". It's not a matter of being complicated, nor is it a matter of the level of incompetence they implied I had; it is, however, a matter of it being impossible. Yep, that's right. As politically correct as veganism is, as noble a cause as it is, and as badly as we all want to Save the Whales, the cold hard truth is that SOMETHING must die so that you may live. It's called the circle of life, and that is a law of nature. Nothing can change the fact that all of us are obligate omnivores, and no amount of Googling can match my education and the research analysis I've done over the past 8+ years.

What chaps my ass is that they implied that I failed them, when in fact, they failed themselves. As convinced as they are that veganism is the right way to go, I have lab test results that prove waaay otherwise. Their blood chemistry is a train-wreck. This means that obviously, their current path is not congruent with good health. That is not my fault. I can't turn water into wine or bend the laws of physiology for people; I can only present the information I've spent a great deal of time, money, energy, and even my own health, to obtain and assimilate. This might sound a little like I'm playing martyr, but I feel like I bent over backwards and that was the thanks I got.

But see, I know something they don't: they are not going to get any better. Without animal products, you get nerve damage. This is a proven fact. Without animal products, you simply cannot meet your minimum protein requirements without overloading on carbohydrates. Don't believe me? Just crunch the numbers. They don't add up. Make sure to get your numbers from someone other than the USDA, though, who basically sells space on the USDA Food Pyramid like ad space on NASCARs; the more money you spend lobbying, the bigger a space you get. (The grain industry is powerful indeed, because it gets the biggest space, making up the base of the pyramid. Lop the bottom off, remove the dairy section, and you're much closer to the correct pyramid that the human body was designed for.)

So unfortunately, it might be several years before they end up back in my office, because their problems will only continue and progress, and no one else will be able to help them. They might be able to get help from a nutritionist, but they can't order or interpret lab work, and those who legally can usually won't take the time to do it properly. *sigh*

You can only lead a horse to water. As much as I would've liked to, I can't shove their face in it.

Now I know why most people who practice the way I do won't even take on vegan patients until they're ready to start eating some meat. It's for their own good. Want to be vegan? Be a cow in your next lifetime. Until then, don't waste your money or your doctor's time. It doesn't get you anywhere and it only depresses your doctor.

And lastly, for the love of Goddess, don't insult your doctor when it is you who will not change.

Websites that rule - Part 3

I've been saving the world all day, and I'm a little typed out. I Facebook-chatted with one friend about socioeconomic classes and not judging books by their covers; I debated veganism with no less then 3 people; and I engaged in a meaningful discussion with a good friend about the proposed chiropractic regulations that I feel might elevate the profession, but have potential to release a trojan horse gut-full of unintended consequences. On top of that, I proofread and updated our office paperwork (all 9 documents, containing a total of 21 pages), joined two lab co-ops to save patients money on lab testing they'll need, and chatted with another guy about a kick-butt website for our practice. My my my, I've been a busy little bee. So I'm a little exhausted from saving the world, but I still feel like writing anyway.

You've seen my first two Websites That Rule collections; here's a third--and long-overdue--installment. As usual, no particular order.

Site: emedicine.medscape.com (without the www)
Why the site rules: This is the kind of site you learn about in some extra-curricular seminar, because otherwise you might not find it. It's a spinoff of Medscape, which is like WebMD for doctors; in fact, the two are affiliated. Beautifully organized by specialty and subspecialty, it contains incredibly comprehensive information in language that doesn't make doctors feel like undergrads again, but also doesn't throw around too many terms doctors might not recall several years out of school ;)

Site: jewishworldreview.com (also without the www)
Why the site rules: I'm not Jewish at all, but I stumbled upon their site back in 2002 or so, researching either Dr. Laura Schlessinger or Thomas Sowell, the amazingly brilliant economist--I forget which, but both have their own extensive editorial columns on the site (just check the tiny print along the left margin). Interestingly enough, the Jewish people I've known had always leaned toward the left side of the fence, but these columnists pretty much all swing to the right, sometimes the far right. The columnists tend to make excellent points; if you think to the left, you may not want to venture here, but if you're right-leaning, you may feel right at home...even if you're not Jewish. Warning: enable your pop-up blocker

Site: www.musica.com
Why the site rules: This site is in Spanish, which is my distant second language, but it's easy to understand and navigate. This site has a vast collection of music lyrics, from the mainstream to the alternative and eclectic, from both North America and Latin America, not to mention Spain, as well. The site is unlike any other lyric site out there in that it doesn't nag you to download the ringtone, nor does it deluge you with pop-up windows or annoying banner ads. It also loads much faster than most lyric sites. And did I mention the variety? Anything from Julieta Venegas to Our Lady Peace, they've got you covered.

Site: evilhrlady.blogspot.com (no www)
Why the site rules: This is a youthful-yet-seasoned level-headed, common-sense lady who has worked in the bowels of private-sector bureaucracy for a number of companies, both large and small, for years. And she has seen it all. She answers questions from the confused, frustrated, and/or clueless public, offering a generous dose of gentle, down-to-earth wisdom. She makes it seem so easy, like "why didn't I think of that?" Even if you've never worked in HR (Human Resources), or you have zero interest in HR, this blog is still a good and easy read. I've passively learned a lot from this blog, and I found myself falling back on that information when hiring, training, and interacting with our own contractor, as well as when giving my friends in the W-2 employee world some advice.

Site: www.marksdailyapple.com
Why the site rules: Are you wondering how to eat right? Confused about which (of the conflicting) dietary advice to follow? Caught up in the various opposing dietary theories? Trying to lose weight? Gain weight? Maintain a healthy weight? Reverse diabetes? Bulk up? Slim down? How much exercise you should do? Well, look no further, because this site has ALL the answers--everything from carbs to protein to burst training. They've got food--and exercise--pyramids of their own and not only are they backed by the soundest research, they're actually more fun and natural to follow. If diets leave you feeling deprived and exercise leaves you feeling fatigued, this is the site for you. If you're vegetarian or vegan, you're in for a wake-up call. They're not prejudiced; they've researched. Come try it for yourself! See what life should really feel like.

Site: www.zillow.com
Why the site rules: Search addresses and real estate listings to get an idea of what a property is really worth! We're glad we did this; a cute and pretty house-turned-business-office listed for $187k, but it turns out that it's really only valued at less than $130k! Also, it helped us gain exposure when our real estate agent listed our house-for-sale on this site. All kinds of info can be yours, including a bird's-eye-view of the property and other data. You can even zoom out to a view of the block or neighborhood, and it'll compare the appraised value of every house within its view! This way, you can compare your home's value to that of all your neighbors.

Site: www.allrecipes.com
Why the site rules: If you've ever needed a recipe, especially on short notice, or you want to try something new on whim, here's your new best friend. This site is extremely navigable, with literally dozens of user-submitted recipes organized according to category. Don't see a category you like (like gluten-free, for example)? That's OK - type it in the search box at the top of the page. It's like this site reads your mind.

Site: www.etiquettehell.com
Why the site rules: Every so often, you need to do one or both of two things: 1) laugh your ass off, and/or 2) take comfort that someone else had a worse wedding day than you. (For the record, we had an awesome wedding day, but we have heard horror stories.) And horror stories these are, especially when it comes to bridezillas (formerly normal ladies who otherwise pull the Jekyll-and-Hyde act, becoming monster bitches from hell overnight). At the end of a particularly trying day, set aside a few hours (for best results) and read through it. Laugh and feel relieved that it ain't you.

Site: www.rentometer.com
Why the site rules: Ever wonder if it was just your imagination or if you really were paying too much for rent? Well, you can enter your address and current monthly rent payment into the search boxes at the top of the home page and find out for sure. The site will compare your rent to those of other complexes in your area and tell you how your rental deal measures up. It'll show you on a Google map the other complexes in your vicinity and you can roll your mouse over them. Then, if you find a comple for lower rent that you think you might like better and you're considering a move, we highly suggest you copy-paste the addresses into...

Site: www.apartmentratings.com
Why the site rules: Wouldn't it have been nice to know your apartment was practically a halfway house for illegal drug dealers before you moved in? Or that there was a noise problem at night even though it seemed quiet during the day (when the residents were still asleep) when you took your tour? Or that there's a massive roach infestation? Or that management would try to screw you out of your security deposit come move-out time? Yeah, we like to know these things up front, too. This site isn't 100% foolproof; some complexes don't have many reviews on there, and other listings are wrought with complaints from people who very likely were shadier scumbags than management ever was, bitter about the fact that they got evicted, not telling you that it was after the 7th 2AM noise complaint. However, it can at least serve as a guide; it's good to take this kind of information at face value anyway. It can indicate trends and possible pitfalls to watch for, especially if several otherwise-level-headed people repeat the same theme. Do watch for when the information was entered; apartment complexes change management all the time, so what was true a year or two ago may be totally different now.

OK, now back to saving the world....first thing tomorrow morning.

I walk the line

OK, OK, so I'm totally watching "Silence of the Lambs" while reading Amy Lawson's blog. In honor of its anniversary, I was all ready to craft a post about my get-out-of-jail-free escapade, but we covered that. Now, I've had a couple of breakthroughs recently in the realm of the office, but due to the fact that that which consumes my life will bore others to tears, we won't cover that.

Watching "Silence of the Lambs" reminded me of a role model, Jodie. And Jodie got me thinking. More to the point, it got me realizing, exactly how thin the veil is between me and a lesbian. I would love to run some hormone panel to see how high my testosterone is. I'm straight, don't get me wrong; the idea of being in too close a vicinity with girlie goodies kinda creeps me out. (Although I have nothing against those who prefer this, and there's no prejudice anywhere in my soul.)

But I'm about as close to a gay female as one can get without actually being gay. I'd always been a tomboy, I've always had a boyish voice, and I even went through my own equally-embarrassing voice change. I even took the lead, asserted myself, played with matchbox cars and legos, shunned dolls and the entire Barbie concept, and loved to play outside. Make-up? Bah. Chick flicks? Selective. Bras? Don't need 'em. Victoria's Secret? Forget it. Hell, I used to wear guys' jeans until I realized they didn't fit my hip shape all that well. And I still wear guys' socks. About the most feminine thing I've done in the past 15 years is fall in love with Dillard's women's clothing and get my hair highlighted. My wedding ring is a simple unisex gold band. My husband felt lucky to get me into a dress for our wedding.

And still? I don't gab with the other hens, wear "cute shoes", cry over "Steel Magnolias", watch the Oxygen network, read romance novels, shun guns, carry a purse, or sing soprano. Instead? I drive a pickup, play videogames, burp, sing contralto, love meat, work out (OK, eventually), prefer "Armageddon" to "Deep Impact" and Rush to Sarah McLachlan.

On the other hand, my hair is long and I do like to shop. I also can't stand mainstream sports and I'll watch "Terms of Endearment" over and over. As much as I don't like shallow, fluffy conversation, I do like a good dose of deep Girl Talk. And do not, I repeat, do NOT come between me and my chocolate! Hell, maybe I'm fairly Girl after all.

Quicksilver in reverse

I believe in astrology. Don't knock it till you try it! Yes, I hold several scientifically-oriented degrees. No, I'm not a kumbaya-my-lord-singing fruitcake who lives in the back of a VW bus with unshaven underarms and endless supplies of granola. No, I don't call rooms with cushioned walls home. I started out skeptical enough, but it's called empirical data. A properly-open mind, when faced with such data in sufficient amounts, can't ignore the signs for very long.

So I watch closely when our planet Mercury, the messenger, starts to look back over his shoulder and walk backwards. More often than not, it means that some schiz is about to go awry, typically involving communication and/or technology. Anything from relationships to the internet (two points that time has brought insanely closer together over the past 10-15 years, but I digress).

I'm less worried about the phenomenon itself than I am about its effect on OTHER people. See, nobody sees this coming, so it hits them like a Hummer H2. Nobody cares, either, which is to their peril. As for me? I hang out, head down, mouth shut lest I say something less than 100% intelligent, and I double-check everything. And I make the most of the time.

It's no secret that the official word for this phenomenon, "retrograde", starts with "re-". Practically every activity that is appropriate for this time begins with the same letters. You know, "re-group", "re-view", "revise", "re-think", "re-hash"...you get the idea. And sometimes, a lightening strike hits me, giving me an awesome-upon-awesome idea, or at least making me see a previously-formed idea in a new light.

So, what'll it be this time? An epiphany of sorts? An idea that looks good on paper but flops a few years down the road? A rare moment of pure clarity because finally the stars see things the way I do? Heh, who knows. So far not much yet, although I have revised and rethought a whole lot of things. I'm sufficiently knotted up in some Aunt Annie's (gluten-free) pretzel by now. Hopefully everything will straighten itself out. Either that or I get some other awesome-upon-awesome idea that'll show me the shining light. In the meantime, is there a such thing as gluten-free granola?

This will be my year

Holy crap, did I just skip an entire month in the blogosphere? Well, I've been busy. If it makes you feel any better, I did come close to posting a few times. Trouble is, I fell asleep before I was able to write anything. That concept makes ME feel better (the whole sleep thing).

Well, I'm watching Family Guy, reading Consumerist, and staring down the barrel of another birthday. Those are finite, you know, and each one is a gift. I'll be spending this one at the office, but I'm OK with that. It's that whole "putting in my dues" thing. Besides, the office isn't a bad place to spend the day, even if it's my birthday.

I'll take this opportunity to thank you, Mom, for having me near Labor Day weekend. This means that every time I blow out the candles, there's a warm holiday weekend just around the corner, if we're not in the midst of it already.

I'm in a semi-reflective mood, because Mercury Retrograde does that (if you have to ask, you'll never know). Over the years, some things change, some things don't. Usually, my birthday has somehow involved the purchase of new computer parts. Jay confessed he hasn't bought anything yet; he's thinking Dillard's. I'm thinking Altex. Maybe. Then again, I'm growing up (finally); Dillard's may tickle my fancy after all. I'm not too grown-up, however, to be above belting out Disney tunes in public. Been there, done that. The only unanswered questions are, which Disney tune this time, and in which public arena?

This's my first birthday in South Texas (at least in a hell of a long time). It's also my first gluten-free birthday. No conventional cupcakes or double-chocolate for me. Hell, I even have to be careful with ice cream. This isn't something I can just say "screw it" for the day and have whatever I want. Unless, of course, I want to destroy my cerebellum. That's usually a bad idea, so I'll opt for a gluten-free option. Lots to choose from.

From here, I look forward. I've been doing that so much lately that even the little reflection I've done makes me feel odd. I plan to continue to age backwards. I plan to continue to live my dream(s). I plan to become a more compassionate, yet more confident person. This is my year to grow a bigger backbone, to follow through, to git 'er done, to inhale positivity, to branch out, to kick butt, to come into my own, to rock this town, to have a ball, and to take each day as it comes. Hopefully by this time next year I will have taken up painting again, joined a martial arts, yoga, and/or nia class, gotten involved, made new friends, joined some groups, and saved the world (or at least taught them how to save themselves). Yep, I can feel it. Bring it.