Right-brain dominance as a marketable skill

I'm going to connect some widely-spaced dots, so hang with me.

Most people have heard of right-brain left brain. I won't go too far into the specifics this time (that probably gets its own post) but suffice it to say that its validity, implications, and application go FAR beyond its tongue-in-cheek pop psychology reputation. Right-brain dominant folks are known for their ability (and desire) to get at and see the big picture. This applies to any concept. They also excel at abstract thinking. In a game of compare-and-contrast, assessing an overall situation, and summing things up, they're the starring quarterback you want on your team.

Many people have heard of Family Guy. For the longest time, I was completely oblivious to its existence and it utterly shocked me to learn that it had existed since 1998, right about the same time as King of the Hill. Indeed, it had been relegated to some little show that piggybacked on the Simpsons, always being eclipsed in its shadow. But indeed, Family Guy holds its own. Within just a few years, it had attained a level of clout that took the Simpsons almost a decade to build. It did this by not only pushing the envelope but by shredding it, with politically incorrect statements and concepts, taboo situations, and making statements people probably unconsciously thought but had never been brought into consciousness. These folks don't just let it drop, either. They take it and run.

It occurred to me. Both my husband and I are fairly right-brain dominant; my dominance is noticeably excessive, where as his is more subtle. I have learned not to underestimate it, though. I make sweeping connections between widely different things, and he has this gift of vocab that lets him tell it exactly like it is. Mix that up with an extreme dry sense of humor and a knack for delivering the punch without missing a beat (and with a completely straight face) and you've got yourselves a team that probably COULD write material for Family Guy.

If we were any more consistent with our gifts, I think we'd have to go for it. But alas, we've chosen a different path. Nevertheless, certain instances pop up occasionally that still give us a good belly laugh.

My husband on tools:
Him: "I won't go into Sears for much of anything anymore."
Me: "Not even their tools."
Him: "Nahhh."
Me: "I thought Craftsman was awesome."
Him: "Well, if it's something like a wrench, that's OK. I mean, it's pretty tough to fuck up a wrench."

Me on The Count from Sesame Street:
"Ah, ha ha ha, one vibrating dildo! Today was brought to you by the letter 'x'. It's like a Porno Sesame Street!" (A total Family Guy-style see-it-through-the-full-distance moment.)

There were more but, as often happens with Right-brain excess, I can't remember them. If/As they come back to me, I'll edit this post.

Queen for a day

Recently, on a large social networking site, friend posted the question, "what would you do if you were President?"

As usual, a laundry list poured forth into my mind. Here's by no means a complete list...

#1 - Truth In Advertising
First and foremost, let's agree to say what we mean, mean what we say, and stop flat-out lying to the American public (and indeed the world). It starts with food - no more hiding harmful ingredients under innocent-sounding aliases (MSG), labeling ingredients by weight not volume (1%, 2% milk), leaving ingredients off labels altogether (anti-caking agents in spice mixes, or less than 2% of gluten-containing compounds in rice milk), or GMO foods, etc.

Another area that needs addressing is TV commercials - fine print crammed onto the bottom of the screen for all of 5 seconds, such that you'll never be able to read all of it even if you DO try to do so, drug commercials that need not list all side effects but rather point you to a website or phone number, or sugary cereals that talk about being part of a nutritious breakfast.

And then there are other things, too - hidden fees in everything from hotel rooms to phone bills, apartment complexes that only show you models before you sign a lease and move in, and Google search returns that don't actually contain the text you searched for.

#2 - Education Overhaul
It's time to bring back reading, writing, and arithmetic. It's also time to bring back citizenship, good sportsmanship, physical activity (gym class AND recess), and the arts. It's time to challenge our kids, teach them (and not just to a standardized yearly test), and not be afraid to fail them when they don't actually pass. It's time to toughen up, smarten up, and run a tighter ship.

It's time to pay teachers better, and employ more of them. How do we accomplish this? By cutting the number of administrator positions - we don't need 6 vice principals and 2 principals. We need 1 principal and maybe 1-2 VPs. It's time to actually require teachers to be able to use proper spelling and grammar (especially the English teachers, and this is a skill that is sorely and sadly lacking). It's time to require that teachers not only know their information inside and out, but actually know how to teach it as well.

It's time to cut out all of the forced diversity, warm fuzzy, artificial self-esteem pumping, and wasted time. It's time to de-emphasize sports and class/race warfare. Teaching global warming is wasted time because that's a theory only, with lots of contradicting evidence. Instead, let's bring back real, decent science courses, based on logic and proven fact. Let's bring back real history courses, covering both that of the world AND the US. Creative writing classes and contemporary literature have all gone out the window and it'd be beneficial to bring them back. I'd also love to see a good health class that was really relevant and effective. Something beyond the circulatory system, "just say no", and the USDA food pyramid, TYVM.

And why in the hell are we charging people to ride the freakin' bus? Abolish parents blocking entire lanes of busy streets to pick up their kids when they live less than a mile away. Kids can walk (Lord only knows today's obese kids need exercise). And if the bus is free again, they can ride it (gotta walk to the bus stop and back).

#3 - Restore American Jobs
I don't know what in the hell Congress/Bush/whoever did in 2001 to lift restrictions on the exportation of American jobs to other countries, but it's time to hit a big whopping "Undo" button. Between that and the looming threats of the catastrophe that is Obamacare, jobs have fled this country wholesale. And it hasn't boded well for those of us who live here.

I'd like to see deep tax cuts and instead, tax the crap out of businesses who have moved their operations elsewhere. As in, take away all their itemized write-offs. This will encourage people to buy domestic and employers to employ domestic, too. This will also start to solve the plethora of problems caused by Chinese products and diminish support for human rights violations and other unpleasant working conditions in China.

I'd also like to see the minimum wage be abolished. I know that's not a popular concept and when I was younger and less educated, I supported the hell out of a major minimum wage increase. My reasoning at the time was that you can't raise a family of 4 on 5 bucks an hour. But then, I got a clue. First, you're not ever SUPPOSED to raise a family on 5 bucks an hour and if you are, maybe you need to rethink the idea of having a family. Second, most people making 5 bucks an hour are NOT those trying to support a family, but rather, teenagers living at home, simply trying to pay for a car or some spending money when hanging out with friends, but who otherwise have all their basic needs met. It doesn't make sense to penalize small business because of some teenagers or unplanned parenthood.

#4 - Lose The Chemicals
Our society is SO full of chemicals it's not even funny. It's not like we're actually living any better through chemistry and in fact, the environment and our bodies are horribly suffering.

I'm talking about food. Organic cultivation is quite possible and even efficient. Natural bug repellents do exist. Natural cows can be raised, without antibiotics or growth hormones. It's not like factory farming is a whole lot cheaper: it's not. Vitamin E is just as good a food preservative as BHT and corn starch is just as good a de-moisturizer as wheat flour and is far less reactive.

I'm talking about cleaning supplies. Did you know that grapefruit seed extract and lemon essential oil are powerful disinfectants? They're also very concentrated. Put them in a spray bottle with some distilled water and presto - you have a better cleaning product that Windex. Or how about color-safe bleach? Did you know that hydrogen peroxide is a powerful antibacterial agent? It's even safe enough to gargle with. Vinegar, baking soda, and club soda all have their uses. Colloidal silver is powerful, too, as is tea tree oil. You don't need to buy into a ton of Soft Scrub or Pine-Sol. Sure, those make jobs easier, but natural is better and more healthy. Haley's Hints is a great book for many of these tips and tricks.

I'm also talking about beauty supplies. I found that when I ditched all the hairspray, mousse, frizz ease, and other products, my hair...didn't need as many products. Going natural left it less oily, flaky, gunky, and flat, and I found I could make it cooperate much easier. Those products don't actually give you much more shine or control. They don't really make your hair healthier. Really, they don't.

#5 - Ban Mercury
I don't know what this fixation is with Mercury in this nation, but it seems to be lurking everywhere you turn. The big 4 places are thermometers, high fructose corn syrup (yes, that cheap sweetener that's in EVERYTHING), vaccines, and those ugly coily fluorescent light bulbs. Ban them all. There are substitutes for all of them that perform better, cost less, and prove to be much safer. If we banned lead in 1978 fairly effectively, why not mercury? Mercury is even more of a health hazard than lead!

#6 - Bring Back The Gold Standard
Or something to secure and anchor our monetary system. Because otherwise it's going to float away by way of the dodo bird. Seriously. Many decent books have been written on this subject, fleshing out the idea that our economy is based on ever-increasing debt and inflation because our paper money system is no longer tethered to anything finite. Instead, paper money is only worth ANYTHING because the store down the street will accept it, and only on the premise that he is fairly confident that he can turn around and use it, trading it in for material items he needs. This is an incredibly fragile scenario. And with the government printing more by the ton to pay for its debts, all this means is that we're ALL going to pay--very dearly--at some point in the rapidly-approaching future.

#7 - End Animal Testing, Deter Crime
It's cruel and irrelevant, since animals are pretty different from humans. Instead, why not use the very most violent criminals in their place? Put shampoo into a rapist's eyes instead. Test that pre-market Vioxx not on a monkey, but on a serial killer. Two birds, one stone. I hardly see how that is cruel and unusual punishment. After all, these people took lives, either in whole or in part. They lost their rights when they did that and got convicted of it.

#8 - Cut Spending, Increase Revenue
It's time to start shifting cost burdens to where they are most appropriate. Health care deserves its own item (and a complete overhaul), so I won't discuss it further in this one, other than smokers and drinkers pay much, much more and are completely barred from any government-offered public option.

Let's stop subsidizing factory farmers. In fact, let's have them pay into a fund that then goes to subsidize organic farmers. (And let's tighten the definition of "organic", too.)

Let's stop subsidizing nonproducers (in the form of long-term welfare) and multinational corporations (in the form of corporate welfare).

And instead of subsidizing hybrid vehicles (in the form of tax credits or write-offs), how about large SUVs pay a toll (after all, they take up more of the road, pollute more of the air, and are typically used as little more than commuter vehicles, and for typically a single person)? Maybe we could actually get some roads built that way and maybe, just maybe, they'd actually be wide enough. Maybe a tax cut for people who live within a certain mile radius to work? It could work in the form of a deduction at tax time.

How about instead of lots of large taxes on utilities (especially broadband, cell phone, cable, etc) that we shift back to plans with finite amounts of minutes on them, even during the nights and weekends, and even between phones of the same carrier? If you make people pay for what they actually use, and then tax them reasonably according to that usage, rather than giving it all away for free after a certain time, that would make more sense.

#9 - Healthcare Overhaul
A couple things on this one. First, let's shift the mentality from self-irresponsiblity and don't-do-anything-until-it-becomes-a-problem to self-responsibility and preventive self-care. Second, fricking pay for it. Catastrophic insurance policies only, for those unthinkable situations that prove to be quite expensive, such as a major accident or major unpreventable illness. Let's actually start paying for our own care so that we are more motivated to take care of ourselves. So, no more government programs. Temporary programs only, for those who are on short-term assistance when they're down on their luck through no fault of their own.

Next, let's re-prioritize and re-allocate the system, spelling out what type of care should be used when. Drugs should not ever be used to manage diabetes type 2; diet and exercise do that just fine - in fact, when done properly, they do better than drugs. Allopathic care should really be used in emergencies only - dealing with a crisis, catastrophe, or extremely advanced disease, or some other immediate threat (such as a quite-pathogenic viral/bacterial infection), or perhaps some other emergency such as stroke, obstruction, bone fracture, cancer, etc.

But when considering most major chronic, degenerative conditions, or hormone imbalance, mysterious conditions like fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue, disciplines like Functional Medicine shine best. The other disciplines should take a few cues from Functional Medicine and order A LOT more testing and be more open minded and current on the most up-to-date research and information.

Typical alternative medicine (those that use natural methods but without testing) should only be employed when the patient has no ailments or complaints and thus just needs wellness care. Any time there is a symptom or problem, complete testing should be done first.

So, the first-line care in immediate/serious situations should be allopathic medicine. First-line care for all other internal disorders should be Functional Medicine. If Functional Medicine fails (usually unlikely), then an allopathic approach is warranted. First-line care for aches and pains should be chiropractic. First-line care for neurological problems (dizziness, incoordination, weakness, etc) should be neurological chiropractic or Functional Neurology. Only when those fail (or become more serious/immediate) should allopathic protocols be utilized. That is truly how healthcare should work.

And should insurance cover any of that? No. Why? Several reasons - 1) people don't value what they didn't pay for, so they're less likely to follow through or respect the doctor and his/her advice. 2) Insurance costs just increase the costs of care for everyone. 3) Since Functional Medicine is the initial approach to most issues, and it is quite reasonably priced (not cheap, but great bang for the buck), it's almost cheaper NOT to use insurance, and 4) for all crisis care, there are catastrophic insurance policies that work well.

#10 - Misc
I might consider other ideas, such as abolishing (or severely limiting) the stock market (multiple reasons), eliminating radiation (bringing back the regular cordless phone frequencies), eliminating that God-awful radio station compression or those God-awful blue-ish car headlights, or abolishing school zones but heavily ticketing inattentive driving, increasing chiropractic standards but then elevating chiropractic societal status and expanding their scope of practice, requiring newborns to be screened by a chiropractic doctor, legalizing edible marijuana (at least via licensed doctor prescription), outlawing cigarettes, legalizing concealed AND open carry for firearms (for all legal citizens with clean criminal backgrounds), abolish self-employed taxes, allow DCs to flat-out opt out of Medicare, tweak max subwoofer volume or frequencies, or ban them altogether, implement re-testing when renewing your driver's license (every 6 years), disband the cult of Scientology (at least revoke their tax-exempt status!), ban frivolous lawsuits and pin the cost back on the idiot who started it, abolish "fair use" doctrines, tax flipping houses and rental properties, and...

...Let Texas secede!

A year in the life...

I reckon I could launch into my stereotypical cliche, "oh my, has it really been a year?" but we all know that it has. Not that it seems like it. Not by a long shot.

The learning curve has a long, steep grade and I've pedaled my way to the top, huffing and puffing all the way, nursing my bruises and even earning a few spurs. The greatest mentors have echoed over and over again that how you practice a year in will be vastly different than how you started out, and how you practice 5 years in will be different, and how you practiced in 15 years will be worlds away from how you practiced at 5 or 10. And so on. I always took their word for it. Now I'm realizing how right they are. And I have the feeling that as we celebrate the anniversary of our first year in practice, we've only scratched the surface.

Because I'm me and I'm incorrigibly content with the way I am (at least in this arena), I feel the need to record a Year In Review of sorts for the cyberarchive - maybe someone else will see it and benefit and maybe not - if nothing else, it may help me remember our freshman roots someday. You never know.

I've discovered what a joy it is to care for people, to watch them get better before your eyes. They become calmer, happier, healthier-looking. The bags under their eyes disappear, their skin regains some color and youth, their step reclaims its bounce and symmetry. Sometimes missing hair grows back, sometimes a walking cane evaporates. People are happy and proud to share their new healthier eating habits, stress reduction techniques, blender or other cookware purchases, exercise regimens, Dr. Oz gems, and supportive shoes. They're jazzed to report that they've lost weight, discovered a recipe, sleep through the night, given up coffee, and gotten their energy back.

I've discovered that people will pick up on your underlying vibe and read you like a book, even if they don't actually realize they're doing it. Often without meaning to, they'll expose holes in your process, weaknesses in your presentation, wavering confidence, or uncertainty anywhere. They notice details - office cleanliness and decor, body language, vocal inflection. You've got to be aware of these and turn them into something you can use advantageously.

Sadly, I learned that the more you selflessly give, the less people appreciate you. You'd think it'd be the other way around, but it's not. You can tell someone you negotiated great rates with a lab to save them hundreds of dollars on blood testing. You can even tell them you'll offer these labs at your costs only, going through the trouble of ordering them and processing payment without any markup whatsoever (in stark contrast to every other medical office, which does mark up lab work--and handsomely) and they raise their eyebrows and smile and say, "wow, that's great!" But when it comes time to value your work and pay you for it, they suddenly forget that you're already hundreds of dollars cheaper than the guy across town offering a similar service, and even though you're always doing them favors, you hardly ever reap the fruits of your labor.

Also sadly, I learned that you've got to get tough with some people. Some rudely gab on their cell phones during their appointment time. It is indeed their scheduled spot and they can use that time as they wish. But if one of us is working with them, trying to accomplish a particular goal (for example, relieving a particular muscle spasm) during that visit, these distractions take time away from that. As a result, the goal can't be reached and there's a risk the patient will stop coming in, thinking they're not making the progress they should and blaming it on unproductive visits that somehow relate back to the doctor's/therapist's shortcoming.

You've got to get tough with other people, too. A cleanse means a cleanse. Gluten-free means gluten-free. Twice a week means twice a week; monthly visits means monthly visits. Ten o'clock means ten o'clock. Talk to your insurance company means exactly that, too. People try to bend rules, test boundaries, push limits, seek exceptions, and spot holes in your system. People don't mean to piss you off, they're just being them, not quite understanding the situation from our point of view. I don't expect them to. However, many of these House Rules are spelled out from the git-go in the paperwork and during the first few appointments; the rest would appear to be common sense that should hardly warrant any mention. However, many people don't read or care, and others forget. Many weren't paying attention in the first place.

It's OK to be a hard-ass. Don't be a prick about it, but don't be wishy-washy either. People can smell that like a fart in a car, so don't waver. You can shake in your boots on the inside, waiting for their reaction to something ("no gluten - ever", or "that'll be $1200") as long as you can do this without batting an eye yourself. Pretend their total will be $12 and say it like that. Pretend you're cutting tire rubber out of their diet when you say gluten. Practice makes perfect; with enough of it, you'll be able to tell people things that seem outrageous to you but if you do it right, people will respect you. It's like the hard-ass teacher that laid down the ground rules on the first day and nobody screwed off in his/her class. People moaned and groaned at first but they usually look back on that class as a great class and the teacher as a great teacher. Use that phenomenon to your advantage.

The first year (and probably more) of practice is spent figuring out 10,000 ways NOT to do something. I think that if you're not always changing something up or improving upon something, you're missing something or not putting in enough effort. I've realized it's smart to put off big purchases on equipment you're not sure about because you could be led down a path you didn't expect, and this path could take you far, far away from your original vision or plan. This isn't a bad thing - life happens. But money is finite, so spend wisely.

Which brings me to my next battlescar: all things finance and budget. If you start your own practice from scratch, you're going to blow through money. There are definitely ways to save here and there, and those can make a huge difference, cutting your investment in half (or even less) without sacrificing quality. Research really pays off here. It's crucial. Before stepping into or agreeing to anything, you've got to do your homework. Don't sign until you're comfortable. If you haven't researched, you're not comfortable like you think you are. Go look things up. Go make sure. Because money is finite, there isn't a whole lot of room for do-overs. And you can't press the undo button in most cases - what's done is done. If you messed up, you've got to chalk it up to expensive experience and move on. But make no mistake - you will probably financially free fall, if you're investing in a new endeavor without a stream of income. When writing the budget, don't forget to add in your living expenses - many people consider just the business expenses and go under because they've got to eat and pay rent, too. Don't make that mistake.

Trust is key. If people trust you, you've got everything. They'll follow your advice. They'll keep their appointments. They won't bitch about insurance. They'll feel good for coming. They'll feel like they're in the right place. They'll take their supplements. They'll comply with their diet changes, stretching, and exercises. And, they'll tell their friends. You may even get their families. Trust is fragile and priceless - don't break it.

It's OK to see some people go. Some bitch about Medicare. Others try to run your practice. Some bring a toxic vibe to the place. Others are just a plain headache. Some conveniently "forget" the rules. Some are really high maintenance. Try to understand them and have compassion - many of them have been through crap. Others have always drunk from the silver cup and can't be bothered to do anything for themselves. We've seen the whole spectrum already. I love them where they're at and I respect them and empathize with them, but that doesn't mean that our clinic is the right place for them. If they want to be here, we're more than happy to have them, as long as they respect the clinicians and our other patients and as long as they make the same commitment to themselves that we make to them. Those are really the only two requirements for being part of our practice - everything else falls under those two broad categories. It's not rocket science. Yet, it's beyond the capacity of some.

That's OK. It's OK if you're not able to get everybody better. It's OK if you can't please everyone. It's OK if some drop out of care for one reason or another. Learn from it what you can, chalk it up to experience, and move on. Don't beat yourself up over it; it may not be your mistake. Don't automatically assume it's the patient's fault either; maybe you missed something or got complacent. Don't allow dynamics to change and start treating longtime patients like friends. They're close, but they're still patients, not friends. Blurring those lines may feel more friendly and comfortable for you, like you're taking the relationship to the next level, but that might be confusing and maybe uncomfortable for the patient, so don't do it.

I'm surprised at how many people balk at a physical and paperwork packets. But then, that may be a subconscious shortcoming that my husband has to work through.

Last but not least, get out in the community, meet the average people, and show how YOU can help THEM. Get this - it's not about you. It's not about your clinic. It's not even about the chiropractic profession. Sure, you can attend a conference or health fair and when you do, as a Doctor of Chiropractic, you represent the chiropractic profession. You have an opportunity to make chiropractic look really good. But you do this by focusing on the prospective patient and making it about them. After all, they approached you because they have a problem or other need that they think you might be able to fill. Don't try to convert them to some fringe subluxation theory or attempt to indoctrinate them before they've even started care. Guess what? It's a turnoff and few will stick with you (something to the tune of the 6% of the population we currently see). Just talk about how you can help them. Do it in plain English, with simple explanations, using a lot of familiar analogies. Tell them something about their problem they haven't heard before. Help them understand. Don't hard sell. Let them know you exist; they'll come in when they're ready. When they come in, focus only on them. Not your upcoming fishing trip, not your electric bill, not your virus-infected computer. You're their for the patient, everything else is just details you can attend to later. The patient is the here-and-now, and you want to make sure not to screw up future here-and-now opportunities. This involves the trust I mentioned earlier. Trust is earned, and you build it through saying what you mean, offering options and recommendations, letting them choose, and then respecting their choice, whatever it may be. The last thing people want is another hard-sell, especially from someone they see as a doctor.

One gem I learned is that if you answer your own phone, make sure not to let on that you're a doc, but to pretend you're a receptionist. This works better if you're female, but males aren't out of the game. The reason I started going undercover is this: when people realize they're talking to the doctor, it's suddenly two things 1) a quest for EVERY question to get answered right then and there (and after the 20th, 50th phone call, this gets really old), and 2) it's personal - not only do they want to know everything you do but they almost act like you're the bad guy if you don't file their insurance. Contrast this to the impression that they're talking to the secretary. You can be as vague as you like because you're not the doc and you're not expected to have all the information. So this takes the pressure off because it's OK to misspeak or make other mistakes on the phone, and you're not having to defend yourself against probing questions or quests for free advice or quick fixes.

It has literally been a dream. It has gone by about as fast and it has felt about as surreal. It has been a lot of work - networking meetings, sitting through sales pitches, phone calls, free or pro-bono work, changing up procedures, gaining respect, and enduring growing pains.

Two of my mottos:
"You won't get good by being busy, but you'll get busy by being good"
- and -
"That's why they call it practice"

I wouldn't trade it for the world.

My husband on Catholicism

I burped.

I said excuse me.

My husband said, "you don't just get to launch something like that and erase it with a simple excuse me."

I said, "aw come on...it's like Catholics going to church on Sunday. Hop into a confessional and you're good to go."

He said, "maybe that's why people throughout the word adore Christianity...you spill your guts to the right man in the right box and you're off the hook."

I laughed. "'Right man in the right box?'"

He said, "well, the parking lot attendant doesn't cut it."

TL;DR... Verdict: It's all about who you talk to. Catholics have connections.

Food farce

Maybe it's the Benadryl talking (or at least, Walgreen's knock-off generic version), but every so often, I think about what I'm about to discuss, and this time I'm going to "write" it down.

We can't seem to get decent food. Even those who grow a lot of their own food often end up going grocery shopping for something, and you're hardly ever truly self-sufficient in terms of groceries unless you operate a full-scale family farm with gardens AND meat (and usually crops as well).

In this day and age of ultra-modern scientific advancements, knowledge, and technology, as well as (hopefully but I doubt) a more highly-evolved and humanitarian global worldview, you would think that we would have this food thing down pat. But we don't. We're fatter and yet less nourished. We're sick, fat, dumb, depressed, tired, and miserable. We can't digest food, we can't absorb nutrients, we can't fight off diseases and pathogens, we can't sleep or wake up without artificial help, we can't think straight, and we can't lose weight or keep it off.

Obviously, something is very wrong and I think a lot of it starts with the single most important influence on body function (after all, it IS our fuel): food. And, the fact that our access to quality whole foods is nonexistent.

Behold...
* Almost all types of produce are grown using pesticides.
* Increasingly, produce, crops, and meat products alike are being genetically modified.
* Increasingly food (even besides dairy and fruit juices) are being pasteurized (they started with almonds a few years ago).
* Most animal products (73%) are grown using an unnatural and inefficient diet, as well as over 30 separate antibiotics and growth hormones.
* Almost all soil is depleted of essential nutrients necessary for many important biochemical reactions in the body.
* The conventional fertilizers being used carry only a couple of these nutrients, not the wide array we need.
* Certain types of produce such as apples have an extra layer of carcinogenic carnuba wax sprayed onto them to make them appear "shiny" and thus more attractive.
* Hazardous substances such as viruses and carbon monoxide are being used to keep certain bacterial growths in check so that perishable food can sit longer on grocery store shelves.
* Many grocery stores will simply slap an extended expiration date on unsold perishable foods (such as meat packages).
* Almost ALL food (produce an animal products) is irradiated.
* Even something as basic as water is highly contaminated, with hormone/endocrine disruptors (medications that don't break down and are thus passed into the water supply via urine and never dealt with properly during water treatment processes), neurotoxins (fluoride is NOT to help prevent tooth decay!), carcinogens (chlorine), and tons of harmful resistant microbes and other heavy metals.

As you can see, there's a decrease in the quality of the food and its available nutrients EVERY. Step. Of the way. The really bad news? So far, I've only mentioned the good wholesome "fresh whole foods" that health nuts choose by "shopping the perimeter". This is by no means an average diet, because most people don't stick to a diet of only these foods. The news only gets worse from here...

Behold some more...
* Packaged foods contain way too many grains - Asian stir-fry preparations, all cookies, most finger foods, etc, all contain gluten, to which 83% of the population is genetically susceptible to becoming severely reactive.
* Packaged foods (as well as many spice mixes, soups, etc) contain MSG, a highly addictive and highly neurotoxic substance responsible for migraines and other headaches, neurological disorders, stomach upset/discomfort, vision issues, thyroid problems, obesity, and much more.
* Packaged foods are often pre-cooked and thus not fresh. Non-fresh foods have lost many of their nutrients, and they did so a long time ago.
* Packaged foods often have way too high a carbohydrate content.

My question is, why?
Why do we add fluoride to water?
Why is it that it's extremely tough to find mixes, spices, dressings, etc, without MSG?
Why is it that it's extremely tough to find potato or corn chips without MSG, wheat, "flavoring", etc?
Why is it so tough to obtain raw milk and other raw dairy products?
Why must we use mercury in the processing of high fructose corn syrup?
Why must we tinker recklessly with nature (such as gene splicing and other genetic modification)?
Why must we use wheat in everygoddamnthing?
Why isn't there legislation regarding the scooching of expiration dates?
Why must we irradiate everything when better and less harmful technology exists?

And why oh why are there hardly any labels to allow US to make our own educated decisions??

Just a lil food for thought, no pun intended.

What do you mean random brain farts aren't productive?

It is truly a random kind of day. On days like these, thoughts drift and visit, like the fragrant blooming flowers...and their pollen--of which I'm luckily not allergic to. Score one for me!

Thoughts fade in and out like morphing shapes in lava lamps. Things like, why does Apple's own Safari browser not recognize some of Apple's own OS-based trackpad mouse tricks?

Or, sum up Functional Medicine in a sentence.

How many times can I screw up a new process before I finally get it right? And it's every step of the way, too - deciding case acceptance, paperwork components, general initial appointment flow, routine testing (which tests are routine in the first place, and then there are questions of payment collection, shipping, etc). Then there's the paperwork-related report of findings and then the REAL report of findings when all the test results have come back and been compiled.

Look at my new blog! Charting Doctor Territory is sure to be a smash hit. Yes, it's in Wordpress territory. I'm sure I'm going to Google/Blogger hell at some point. But hey - sassy chick (on my current WLK template scheme) aside, the Wordpress looks better than most Blogger blogs. There. I said it. FYI, most information/posts related to chiropractic, natural medicine, or our particular practice will move over there and this will become pretty much a non-office, non-practice personal blog, where you'll still be able to continue to enjoy random brain farts from yours truly.

I took another step forward with my Operation: Facebook Unhook by combing through lists of games and apps, along with friends' pages to not only identify but also BLOCK all apps they were using, except, of course, for the tiny handful that are actually useful, such as Networked Blogs, BlogTalkRadio, Twitter, Android, and iPhone. Might want those so I can see ALL the juicy status updates. And truthfully, I momentarily felt like an ass for blocking apps called "Support Our Troops" and "Hug Your Mom" but then I remembered what they truly are: a nuisance at best and a wolf in sheep's clothing at worst. Apps your friends use will data mine for your info even if you didn't install the app yourself or agree to your data being shared. That is, unless you block them. Every app must be blocked individually, though. While Facebook doesn't make it hard, they could certainly make it easier.

We totally cleaned the office this weekend. Not that it's totally clean, yet, though, and I'm not sure that it ever will be. But at least the patients aren't having to look behind piles of books or under stacks of paper to find me. I'm still destabilized, though - every time I clean, there's a learning curve involved because I don't always remember where I put what. But it looks better and feels better and I'll eventually get used to my newfound order.

New technology sucks and it's hardly ever good. The smart-phone was about the last good thing invented. But this mandated push toward CFL lightbulbs, cold-white headlights and other light, and so-called "smart meters" that phone home all of your by-the-minute utility usage and shoot the price up and down accordingly (none of which, by the way, you can opt out of).

It would be nice to sleep in bed again. Not that sleeping on the couch is wearing on me or anything, but it's the principle - the idea that sleeping on the couch is by limbic necessity and not by conscious pre-frontal cortical choice.

I'm thinking that ACH precursor supplements are really starting to help. I've got to get the rest of my health game on--and soon--but that will come.

Damn does clearing out FB apps and game-only friends feel good. I never like deleting or removing someone from my friends list, but sometimes there's just no other substance there but the 15-20 games they're playing (and even after you block those, these people invariably begin playing new ones, which keeps you on your game-blocking toes). If they play a ton of games and constantly add new "friends" without any discrimination and never post anything meaningful or personal to let me know there's indeed a human being behind the Facebook account, they might as well NOT be on my list. I'm not unfriendly, but I don't lose sleep either.

How does strike a happy balance between harsh and ineffective/wussy when it comes to signs prohibiting cell phones in the office? I want people to take it seriously and follow it, but I don't want to send a mean message that turns off people it wasn't even intended for.

Am I the only one annoyed by *constant* software updates? I'm grateful, and it doesn't cost anything, but every few days? Really? And the changes are usually not even noticeable. Can't they just wait until they have a few improvements to implement and then put them all in one package so that people don't feel like they're downloading something every 20 minutes?

Did I mention how good the Facebook clean-out feels? :)

25 CDs one should never be without, vol. 5

It's been over a year. We're due for Installation No. 5 of "25 CDs one should never be without". Ironically, this is bordering on, "25 mp3 albums one should never be without" because (eek) I don't actually own the CD, in some cases. As usual, no particular order...

1. Heart - (self-titled) (1985)
2. Adham Shaikh - Fusion (2004)
3. Madonna - Like a Prayer (1989)
4. Debbie Gibson - Out of the Blue (1987)
5. Elastica - (self-titled) (1995)
6. Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream (1993)
7. Paula Abdul - Forever Your Girl (1988)
8. Los Aterciopelados - Oye (2006)
9. 311 - (self-titled) (1995)
10. Live - Throwing Copper (1994)
11. Semisonic - Feeling Strangely Fine (1998)
12. Police - Synchronicity (1983)
13. U2 - The Joshua Tree (1987)
14. Tori Amos - From the Choirgirl Hotel (1998)
15. Lionel Richie - Can't Slow Down (1983)
16. Milli Vanilli - Girl You Know It's True (1989)
17. Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie & the Infinite Sadness (1995)
18. Information Society - Hack (1990)
19. Daft Punk - Homework (1996)
20. INXS - Kick (1987)
21. Fleetwood Mac - Rumours (1977)
22. Janet Jackson - Rhythm Nation 1814 (1989)
23. Rimsky-Korsakov - Scheherazade (1888)
24. Seal - II (1994)
25. Def Leppard - Pyromania (1983)

And if you're nostalgic for more nostalgia...
25 CDs - Part 1
25 CDs - Part 2
25 CDs - Part 3
25 CDs - Part 4

Fruitcakes and Cornflakes: how lunacy in alternative medicine harms people

Just....wow.

I had the pleasure of being a member of a forum, primarily women, who discussed health concerns and post questions about natural avenues of treatment. It is hosted/facilitated by a "Wellness Educator" (her unofficial title, according to her website) without any actual standardized training or degree of any kind. This person is giving medical advice (albeit holistic) to people who are writing in with serious problems that need some supervision.

I made several posts suggesting some basic functional testing when appropriate (and some adequate/appropriate supervision only in the direst of cases), and had the DIS-pleasure of being met with a staunch anti-testing mentality, complete with stern orders not to suggest those things in that forum. So I have a couple of thoughts I feel compelled to make known. Now.

Thought #1: It doesn't make sense NOT to test.

The fact is, medical doctors do not do all of the testing necessary. They don't do the tip of the iceberg, they do maybe a snowflake on top of that iceberg tip. There is so much more that MDs don't even know about and don't do. Even the blood test panels they run (standard testing) are not complete. They don't give the full info.

My question is, why would you NOT want to get to the bottom of the issue? Maybe blood tests were "normal" (a phrase frequently up for serious debate in itself) but what about stool tests? Urine? Saliva? The scanty blood tests run are not, by ANY stretch, the ideal medium to detect certain common issues such as intestinal floral disruption, hormonal imbalance, cortisol circadian rhythm, and the like.

The facilitator that rallied so staunchly against my advice will forever baffle me. These ladies are already most likely on kick-butt diets (after all, they're part of a real food forum). They're already probably taking mountains of supplements. And yet, their problems persist. The one question nobody's asking (not themselves, not their doctor, not their naturopath, not their acupuncturist, not their yoga instructor) is, why?? Why are these problems persisting? I know they're looking for a magic bullet, some product they can buy or fad diet they can start. But we know that's not the full answer. The answers are more complicated than that. Don't you want to KNOW what your body is doing? Don't you want an objective starting point? Don't you want some way to measure your progress and KNOW that those supplements, dietary changes, and the like are producing results and doing you some good?

Thought #2: Good food and a multivitamin isn't enough anymore.

If it was, we wouldn't still be having these issues. There's a whole lot more in the mix these days. We've got genetic mutations, toxic metabolites, xenoestrogens, water additives, genetically engineered food, severe chronic stress, audiovisual overload, mesencephalic escape, gastrointestinal dysbiosis, receptor polymorphisms, breakdowns in the mitochrondria, excessive oxidative stress, and more. So, juicing, going organic, going vegetarian, doing raw foods, shopping at Whole Foods, or avoiding certain foods alone isn't enough. Taking an MLM product won't solve all your problems.

You may have a genetic issue that slows down your liver detoxification. Your immune system may be swinging, casting an attack on the various tissues of your body. Your HPA axis might be completely dysregulated and neuroplasticity (reinforcement of this dysfunction) may have set in. You may have candida growing systemically throughout your entire body. Apple cider vinegar isn't going to cut it alone. When only 7% of any nerve in the body carries information about pain or discomfort (and the gastrointestinal system doesn't even have that much), you can't rely on symptoms alone.

Thought #3: I was accused of giving "medical advice" when in fact I was giving the LEAST amount of medical advice and I was the ONLY one in that forum qualified to give ANY medical advice in the first place!

"Wellness Educator" =/= DOCTOR. Maybe she felt threatened? Undermined? Overshadowed? Who knows? Her insecurity or defensiveness is not my problem. I was simply trying to help expose all of those members to another way that I KNOW they hadn't heard of. But the frustrating part is, although some "liked" my posts (this is the kindergarten playground known as Facebook, after all) and thanked me for my info, many were content to respond most favorably to simple, kneejerk pseudo-solutions based on frequently-disproven old-wives tales from 60 years ago.

Thought #4: Alternative Medicine gets some of its bad press from its own lack of logic (i.e. the practitioners do it to themselves).

Much like chiropractic doctors (post on this coming later), in an effort to differentiate themselves from mainstream medicine, alternative practitioners often go too far the other way. They claim they can get miraculous results just by "listening" and "feeling" more intuitively what's going on in their body. That's all well and good, and I believe we should listen and feel a lot more often. But it's NOT--I repeat, NOT--a substitute for diagnostic testing. I realize nobody's looking for approval from some egotistical short-sighted MD. That's great; I'm not either. But that doesn't let alternative practitioners off the hook. Sometimes (often), "listening" and "feeling" alone don't cut it. If they did, why do these people end up in my office a few wasted years (and a lot more tissue destruction) later, frustrated and tearful, with a bag of supplements and no good health to show for them?

The tests I mention are functional. They look at functions of the body. Do you not want to know how well you're functioning? Do you not want to know WHERE the breakdown is? They honestly go hand-in-glove with what the thrust and goal of an alternative practitioner, so why the resistance? If nutrition, naturopathy, "Wellness Education" and holistic health counseling want to be accepted (by mainstream forms of medicine or even the public), they've got to move forward and embrace current technology. We "listened" and "felt" our bodies using intuition BEFORE the testing technology became available. It's sad to know that many are still stuck back in that era, refusing to embrace (or even give attention to) the improvements and advances and NEW TOOLS we can use. As people who want to HELP others, they should be *all over* these tests as new ways to see inside the body that weren't available before. If you truly want to HELP your patient, you'll consider ALL options and all alternatives and you'll let the PERSON decide for themselves.

Typical alternative medicine is stuck in the dark ages without much acceptance because it chooses to stay there.

And why would the alternative practitioners want acceptance, you ask? Most don't, actually. But what they don't realize is that they SHOULD. I watched too many of my brethren attempt to establish an island separate from mainstream medicine, in hopes that they could "convert" the public to their way of thinking. It was "us (alt med) vs them (mainstream med)" and WE had a separate identity, dammit! WE were NOT like THEM. In fact, some of us refuse to call ourselves Doctors because we deem it "too medical". Yes, the most extreme of my brethren are willing to throw away their title, their scope, and a large significance of their degree and education for the sake of remaining staunchly separate from "the system".

Look, I despise the system, too. I don't like the medical establishment or conventional wisdom or the poor excuse of a cattle call that passes for standard medical care in the 21st century US. However, when you position yourself as a vehemently separate island, doing everything you can to reject and abhor medicine, and you AREN'T the one on the mainstream side, you make your patients/clients choose between you and their regular doctors. And guess what? You gamble, and you lose. The patients choose the other side, not you.

Sure, you'll probably get a few converts. But the lion's share of the public end up sheepishly schlepping back to their GP's office, with their tail between their legs, defeated and broken, knowing that they're making the same mistake they did before (seeing a conventional MD for their chronic problem) but not knowing where else to turn. They simply aren't aware of their options.

Saddest of all, hardly anyone is aware that there's a third way, one that is congruent with BOTH sides and beautifully meets nearly every need of each individual. Functional Medicine is a fantastic approach - it's what 21st century mainstream medicine SHOULD have become. It's tragic that it sits on the sidelines, waiting for discovery, but it is a miracle that in these times of pharmaceutical-favored legislation/medical education, we have it at all.

Thought #5: Serious cases require supervision.

I don't care who you are. If you have a laundry list of symptoms and they affect multiple systems and areas of your body and your life, you have GOT to admit that you are in over your head, that successful self-treatment is not usually possible, and that you're going to need some help navigating through the mess.

Most of the ladies on that forum had hormonal issues, or issues of pain/fatigue/insomnia, or neurological problems or immune problems. Each of these needs appropriate supervision, and here's why.

Hormonal issues are later-stage signs of serious biochemical imbalance. Usually it has to do with fuel-for-delivery (blood sugar and oxygen) at the cellular level. Since they're late-stage manifestations, the imbalances are chronic and pretty serious. It's not just about balancing blood sugar anymore. You're going to need to regulate adrenals and probably go for some neurologically-based therapy. That is not within the realm of conventional medicine, nor is it something you're going to be able to do on your own. Sure, you can adopt a wholesome diet and dabble in some relaxation techniques, but wouldn't it be that much more efficient and effective if you got some expert help?

Same could be said for any mood disorder (depression, anger, anxiety), insomnia, or even fatigue. Much of this is adrenal-based (which by definition is a neurologically-rooted problem, NOT an adrenal gland problem), and treating it isn't nearly as simple as going to Whole Foods and talking to someone in an apron about "adrenal support". There's waaaaay more to it than that. (And the conventional medical doctors are utterly clueless, too.)

Fatigue, though, enters into a whole other realm, opening up a whole new set of rabbit holes. Possibilities include anemia (B12, iron, or other), mitochondrial dysfunction, toxic overload, neurological mis-firing, heavy metal load, chronic viral or bacterial infections, or what-have-you. Fibromyalgia is more of a brain-based disorder (which is NOT the same as psychosomatic!) Chronic fatigue is more of a mitochrondrial problem or persistent virus (or maybe the aftermath of an acute/chronic viral infection). So many possibilities. Again, it's not as simple as picking up some Ginseng at Whole Foods or starting every day with coffee, even if it's organic. Adrenal-boosting supplements will probably not even do you any good. Unless, of course, the reason for your fatigue is a severe cortisol dip in the morning or afternoon. But how will you know unless you test?

Immune issues are NOT as simple as getting some "immune support" and thyroid issues aren't candidates for "thyroid support" because in BOTH cases, the herbal formulas in those supplements could be doing your system waaaay more harm than good. Many herbs upregulate the WRONG side of the immune system! (Yes, there are 2 sides, not just one. It's not all or nothing; it's not as simple as being immunodeficient or overactive. It's more of a teeter-totter, and you've got to know which side you're dealing with.) Echinacea, grape seed extract, astragulus, and many other popular immune boosters could be doing you actual damage. They could actually be the LAST thing you need. It's not all about taking boatloads of Vitamin D, either - you've got to keep an eye on your levels. Yes, this means a blood test. You've got to make sure that your system is utilizing it properly and that you're not building up too much. Bet your Wellness Educator doesn't even know about that?

Thought #6: Let's talk about this Wellness Educator.

Looking on her website (I will not give her the publicity by mentioning it or linking to it here), she updated it an hour ago with the explanation that she does not need medical approval, nor does she need biomedical testing to show her this or that finding. (Wow, I have the feeling that was added all because of little ol' me! I'm humbled.) She says she's been in the medical world and knows all about their testing.

Really? So she's heard of Metametrix, Genova, Diagnos-Techs (all CLIA-certified diagnostic-quality lab companies) and she's certain they're not necessary? Really?? Wow, lady, please come work in my office if you're that good that you don't need testing.

Because get this: the rest of the world DOES, including the poor folks who slink to your forum for "help". So you're totally convinced that those labs are useless? You've seen them in action and they're not necessary? Really? Gosh I didn't know that. Maybe you should come to my office and talk with my patients who have ALSO had their experiences with medical testing, only to be told they're normal, but listened to--and felt--themselves and knew those test weren't right, so after NOT being able to tackle their problem on their own, they ended up in MY office 10 years later, and I DID run these tests on them and told them they had....count 'em.....*3* parasites! Not one. Not two. But three! Gosh, no wonder that patient was a mess.

But if she had followed our "Wellness Educator"'s advice and only "listened" and "felt" she would never have known WHAT was wrong or how to deal with it. And she would've been exactly ZERO steps closer to solving the problem.

What are we on, Thought #7?

Suffice it to say that the alternative medicine world needs to get a clue if they're to help anyone with the chronic, complex, complicated, multi-factorial disorders going on out there these days. I've got the feeling by resting on the laurels of their 1960s nutrition deficiency/Master Cleanse books, they're equipped to do exactly: dick.

Meanwhile, my information is the kind of thing that desperate people pay 10-20 thousand dollars for. There is probably a lesson for me in this whole mess as well, and maybe it's the Universe telling me to stop going around giving this away for free. Value is largely perception, and the only way to really create a perception of value is to charge for what you do and what you know. So maybe it's time to go back to devoting my time to people that PAY me for what I've worked so hard to learn. (After all, I have to eat, too.)

10 Years (back) in Texas

It almost slipped past me. Credit goes to my husband for pointing it out.

Has it really been 10 years? Apparently, yes. It's amazing how fast that went, too. It's also amazing how little I remember of anything before that. Memories disappear fast, and not always in order - some hang around more strongly than others.

I've re-learned so many things since my return.

1. Texas isn't really Texas anymore. Sure, some of it is, but certainly not places like Dallas and Austin. I-35 is lost forever. Most of the Texas mystique is preserved only for its ability to trademark and generate revenue from tourists.

2. Texas has everything - you don't ever really have to leave. Mountains? Check. Desert? Check. Beach? Check. Snow? Check. Pine trees, prairies, plateaus, bluffs, cacti, oak trees, deer hunting, lakes, rivers, marshes, corn fields, ranches, forests, or palm trees? Check x 14. We have things they don't really have in other parts of the country. We've got Hill Country, armadillos, long horns, and more.

3. Texas is a hearty place to live. Dallas's summer climate is second only to Death Valley in terms of heat index, and not more then 2-3 months later, boom - you're taking the day off to whether the ice storm. It has hearty lifeforms, too - bermuda grass, fire ants, armadillos, dandelions, all kinds of cacti, scorpions, killer bees, nutria rats, wasps, and Mustang Grape vines. You're going to need both a lot of hot pepper (to help improve heat tolerance) as well as a lumberjack-style down jacket (for those icy wind chills).

4. Texas doesn't care how you did it up north. Really. If you don't like Texas, leave Texas. I was shocked at how many people had been blessed with the opportunity to live here (even if it was by way of an employment transfer) and didn't appreciate it. They couldn't stand the place. They were miserable people who weren't even trying. If you prefer northern ways, go back up the northern way.

5. Weather can come from any direction. It's typically west-to-east like everyone else. But it can just as easily come east-to-west sometimes. And don't forget straight north or straight south.

6. I-10 has evaculanes in case of a hurricane. They mean it.

7. Everyone has a pickup truck. If you don't, you stick out. But don't think that a pickup truck alone earns you any merit. We can tell if you're for real or not. That dealership-branded brand-new current model year Ford F150 without a lick of mud or red dirt on it is a dead giveaway, especially when the driver is wearing a white business button-down shirt and is driving like an idiot with a cellphone stuck to his ear.

8. There are indeed a lot more same-sex-oriented people here than I would've thought. And that's quite all right.

9. There are indeed a lot more Volkswagon Bugs, Toyota Priuses, Smart Cars, and other hybrids here with Obama bumper stickers here than I would've thought. And that's NOT quite all right.

10. The romanticized chili pepper is a South Texas thing. The romanticized boots, porch, and cowhide straps are a Northwest Texas thing. The romanticized outlaws in pickup trucks come from the corners - Houston to the Southeast and Amarillo to the Northwest.

11. The sun is STRONG. You might scoff at the temperature ("only 100 degrees? Hell, I've seen that in Canada!") Yeah, well, I have too. And let me tell you, it's not the same. The sun is a gazillion times more intense down here and that's a factor not figured into the temperature. Hell I don't even think it figures into the heat index, since that focuses primarily on temperature and humidity. Don't buy a black truck, breed black dogs, or wear a lot of black clothing. Black doesn't work well in Texas.

12. Each big Texas city has its own personality and vibe that is completely different and unique from the others.

Dallas is materialistic and hyperfocused on looks. It's snotty and opportunistic for investor-types. It's very showy and people flaunt what they want others to believe they have (but actually don't). It's only fun if you have money, because everything costs.

Fort Worth has more hills, trees, trucks, and cowboys. People are more laid-back but the gang problem is getting worse. The country bars at the Stockyards are pretty cool. It's very different from Dallas - much friendlier overall, and more western.

Waco is sort of a pseudo-center for technology and medical. But the tech sector isn't hip and the medical is bottom-of-the-graduating-class. Not the best reputation. The rudest drivers on I-35 are those between Waco and Dallas. Stay in the right lane.

Austin is so open-minded its brains are falling out - and it's only open-minded if you're liberal; to see the narrow-mindedness come out, advocate a right-wing (or even moderate) stance on something. Woo-hoo, feathers get ruffled. Austin is your home for all things weird, trendy, organic, and TRAFFIC. Austin ranks with Dallas for horrendous traffic problems. As "green" as Austin claims to be, they sure do drive everywhere!

San Antonio is the ultimate small town. It's like one big small town, or a bunch of small ones laid end-to-end. It's the 7th largest city in the entire country, 2nd in Texas, and they have NO IDEA. And they like it that way. Life is simple, and they like it that way too. Lots of Spanish - whites are a minority. And that's OK, too. Not a lot of race wars. Gang activity is picking up, but not racially motivated. Lots to do, if you're not looking to be over-the-top entertained - and the vast majority of it is free.

El Paso is backdropped in mountains, very Spanish, and pretty laid-back. It's not as poor as people think. Many shady businesspeople there, though. Unique in that it has no south side, at least not on this side of the border - only east, west, and north sides.

Houston is huge. It's flat but you're usually distracted by all the trees, so you don't realize it. People drive fast but are overall friendly. The freeways are built wide and well, but there's plenty of traffic anyway. Lots of business and oil. Lots of money, but also a good demographic mix. Lots of pollution, so the wind is welcome. Humidity can be stifling, but winters are mild because of the coast.

Amarillo definitely has an outlaw/badlands quality to it. It's neat! Cold, snowy in winter, hot in summer. It's flat, in the middle of the prairie, and Amarillo is IT - not much else for hundreds of miles. Still retains some of the Route 66 nostalgia. Definitely the hearty cowboy/cowgirl vibe, with pickup trucks and ranches. Friendly, quite conservative politically.

-------------------
Our Experience
-------------------

Our personal experience has sort of been divvied up into three 3-year blocks, with an additional year hanging out there (maybe starting another 3-year block of something, who knows?)

2001-2003 - Undecided Years - spent gaining our footing, getting our lives together, and deciding what we wanted to be when we grew up. Characterized by lots of driving, waiting for each other due to mismatched schedules, lack of money, and subjecting ourselves to way too much abuse in our jobs. Waitressed and did other odd jobs such as construction during this time. Listened to a lot of country music.

2004-2006 - Undergrad/Massage Therapy Years - a little more comfortable in our shoes now. Spent obtaining our massage therapy licenses and building my private practice, which was the sole source of my income. Characterized by a bipolar swings, a conversion to Hinduism, lots of new friends, putting down more solid roots, and still plenty of driving due to working in different places, going to school at different campuses, and providing outcall massage. Studied a lot for science prerequisites during this time. Listened to a lot of New Age and Shoegaze music, as well as ambient dub.

2007-2009 - Chiropractic School Years - spent living, breathing, eating, and pooping chiropractic school. Characterized by early mornings, late evenings, health issues (except stabilizing in terms of bipolar issues), heightened gluten intolerance, an adoption of Buddhism and especially Wicca, self-discovery, neurology fascination, lots of new friends, and simplified driving. Studied a lot and evolved and transformed as a person. Grew and developed professionally. Listened to a lot of lounge and other miscellaneous new music. Less shoegaze and country, though.

2010-? - Early Practice Years - spent living in San Antonio and eating, living, breathing, and pooping Functional Medicine and Functional Neurology. Characterized (so far) by a lot of relief (at being OUT of Dallas), frustration (at many things - not knowing things I feel I should know, having lost time and brain power due to stress and gluten issues, early unsuccessful cases, peoples' unwillingness to make their health a priority and then making me out to be the bad guy because I can't work magic, etc), an adoption of Mexican/Latin American traditions, and a healthier lifestyle, doing what we love. Battling allergies, and constantly studying. Learning self-promotion, trying to network. Listening to a lot of Latin American rock and flamenco, as well as Bossa Nova and Latin Jazz.

So, here's to the next 10 years!